Lazypearl

On the first half of the grand line, they went through about seven cooks. After Saboady, they briefly had Camie, although she made a lot of takoyaki. 

They carried Law with them from Punk Hazard to Dressrosa to Zou to Wano, and he made a LOT of onigiri.

It was delicious, but did get a bit old after a while. And he was never meant to stay, after all. 

After Kaido’s defeat and the subsequent party in Wano, they leave Law behind and are once again cook-less. 

But Luffy has a plan. It’s a plan that Zoro rolls his eyes at, but a plan nonetheless.

Jinbei had explained Big Mom’s intense love of sweets, and the island’s name — Whole Cake — is a promising one. Luffy is convinced they’ll be able to find their cook there. 

Zoro isn’t so sure. Cooks and bakers aren’t the same thing, and he’d be loathe to let a *baker* on the crew.

If he has to eat SWEETS for every meal, he’s going to lose it. Absolutely not. 

But he doesn’t argue with Luffy, because there’s never been a point in arguing with Luffy. It’ll either happen or it won’t, after all.

They arrive at Whole Cake and it’s… a terrifying experience. Everything has faces. Everything is SMILING. Zoro scowls, just to be contrary. 

Luffy wants to walk right up to Big Mom and demand a fight, but that’s easier said than done.

They end up in town, all eight of them, squished together in a little bakery with a sweet-as-honey baker who calls herself Pudding. “

That’s it!” Luffy tells after his first taste of pie. “You’ll be our cook!” 

Pudding blinks, and then titters a laugh. “Silly!” she says. “I can’t!”

“Why not?” Luffy asks with a scowl that matches Zoro’s. Zoro hasn’t touched the pie. He’s glad Pudding isn’t entertaining this.

Pudding waves her hand. “I have a business to run!” she giggles. “And besides, I’m married!” 

A large diamond ring glints on her finger. Luffy sinks back into his dessert.

“Fine,” he pouts. “We’ll find somebody else.” 

They do not, in fact, find anyone else. 

Mostly it’s excuses about not wanting to leave Big Mom. They’ve not seen her yet, but Zoro gets the feeling she’s a bit of a bitch.

He also hasn’t found anyone who will cook a steak rather than a pastry, which is getting a little old. 

Nami BEGS Luffy to use at least an ounce of discretion, and he pays no notice (after all, he’s already defeated Kaido, what’s one more emperor?) and walks right up to the front door of the castle.

To everyone’s shock (except Luffy’s), they’re greeted by a guard and escorted right inside. 

EVERYTHING. Has. A face. 

Zoro hates this place. 

He hates this whole island but he especially hates this place. 

He’s so busy hating this place that he completely doesn’t notice when everyone disappears.

(That’s definitely what happens— it’s definitely not that he takes a wrong turn and gets separated). 

He wanders through halls and up stairs and through more halls with skittering servants passing him by, plates piled high with (ugh) sweets. Gods above, where IS everyone?

Finally, after what must be the fifth set of stairs, Zoro finds himself at a dead end. A hallway that ends with a door with heavy bars across it. 

Well that must be it, Zoro thinks, if for no other reason than that it’s the most interesting thing he’s come across and it doesn’t have a FACE.

He takes out all three swords. 

The door is sturdy, but it’s not three swords sturdy. 

“Hello?” Zoro calls as he steps into the room. “Guys?” 

The room is dark. It’s sparse in decoration. There’s a bed and a dresser and a wash basin and a small high window, barred the way the door was. 

And a man.

“You’re not Luffy,” Zoro growls, unsheathing two of his swords almost immediately after sheathing them. 

The man regards him with cool indifference. His blond hair is long and stringy, falling just past his shoulders and covering one eye.

His clearly once white suit is tinged with dirt and spatters of rusty red. 

There is a hole in the middle of his forehead, with a slow trickle of blood seeping from it. 

“I’m not Luffy,” the man agrees. “Who are you?” 

“I’m Roronoa Zoro,” Zoro says. “My captain’s going to be king of the pirates.”

The man sighs. “Sure he will,” he says. He doesn’t bother to try to wipe at the blood seeping down his face. 

“You… going to do something about that?” Zoro asks. It’s gross. 

“No,” the man says. “It just does that. There’s a bullet somewhere in there.”

Zoro narrows his eyes. “You’ve been… shot?”

“Quite a while ago, yes.” 

“But you’re not… how long ago?” 

The man tilts his head. “Two months? Three? Time gets way from you when you’re locked in a room.” 

Ohhh right. The barred door. “Are you Big Mom’s prisoner?”

The man frowns slightly. “I’m honestly not entirely sure. I get the feeling that I am a sort of pet, at this point. Or maybe a prisoner. She can’t seem to figure out how to kill me.” 

“Why is she TRYING to kill too?” Zoro asks. He doesn’t like when people aren’t straightforward.

“Oh,” the man says. “I’m her son-in-law. My wife shot me at the altar and then they murdered my family.” He does reach up now, touching at the blood between his eyes. “The healing genes activated a bit late, I think.” 

Zoro nods. He has no idea what’s happening. “So you’re… enemies? Or family?”

The man looks back at him. There’s an emptiness in his eyes. “I think maybe both,” he says. “Isn’t that how it always is, with families?” 

“Wouldn’t know,” Zoro says. “Maybe.” He sheathes his swords and stands straight. “Hey, what’s your name?” 

“Charlotte Sanji,” says the man.

“Alright Sanji,” Zoro says. “You know the way to the throne room?” 

“Not at all,” says Sanji. “Never been there.” 

Zoro shrugs. “Me neither. Let’s go.”

Considering he’s never been there before, Sanji does make quick work of finding the throne room. Zoro figures it might be from all the explosions, though. Even HE could find it at this rate. 

There’s a battle going on in the throne room.

“THERE you are,” Nami snaps. She seems to be strangling a cloud with her bare hands. The cloud has a face. 

“Yeah,” Zoro says, drawing his swords. “Hey, I found a guy.” 

“Cool, how does that help us?” 

Zoro motions to Sanji. “He’s her son in law.” 

“Again,” Nami snaps. “HOW does that help us?”

“Just— watch him for a minute, okay?” He looks at Sanji. “Stay here.” 

Sanji shrugs. 

Zoro goes running into the fray. There’s lots of very tall colorful people with candy weapons but Zoro can see where Luffy’s already in Gear 4. 

“Luffy!” Zoro yells. 

“Zoro, we found you!” Luffy yells.

“No you didn’t!” 

Luffy laughs. “Okay! Whatever!” 

Big Mom doesn’t seem to care for this conversation. “Are you FIGHTING ME OR NOT?” She shouts, eyes roaming over Luffy and then Zoro and then— “Oh no, who let the little freak out?”

“I did!” Zoro shouted. Franky goes skidding by as he fires a missile launcher. 

“Ugh! Little creep! I can’t take life from him because he doesn’t have EMOTIONS! Won’t die either! Worst son in law I have.” 

“No emotions?” Luffy skids to a stop. “Is he a robot? I’ve always wanted a robot.”

He scans the crowd. “Zoro, where’s the robot?” 

“Blond guy next to Nami,” Zoro says. He kind of cares about the guy. He’s not sure why. “Chopper should take a look at him later. He keeps bleeding.” 

“Hahaha! That’s funny, me too!”

The battle against Big Mom is a lot more straight forward than against Kaido. A lot faster too, honestly. Zoro gets to lose himself in fighting, feeling that aching burn on his muscles that he loves so much. Right up until the only ones still exchanging blows are Luffy and Big Mom.

He hasn’t even pulled out that weird all white form everyone at Wano talked about yet, so Zoro feels pretty confident. Right up until one of Big Mom’s attacks misses Luffy and ends up aimed straight at Nami. 

Zoro doesn’t have time to get to her. Neither does anyone else.

Except Sanji. 

Who steps in front of her, taking the bulk of a thunderbolt to the chest. He falls to his knees with a cry, his face a mix of pain and… almost confusion. But when Nami runs to him, he holds a hand out to stop her, and looks up at Big Mom.

“I won’t let a lady get hurt,” he says, still looking almost confused as he says it, blood dripping slightly more profusely from his forehead. 

“Dork,” Zoro says under his breath at the same time as Luffy says, “Cool.”

When the fight is over, Big Mom collapses as the homes escape from her like baby spiders from a broken egg sac. Zoro PRAYS there’s SOMETHING besides sweets on this godforsaken island for them to celebrate with. 

“Chopper,” he says as Chopper comes running with his med kit. “Check that guy out too.”

Choppy turns to Sanji, sitting on the ground and still rather smouldering from the lightning, and he screams. “Oh NO! You’ve been SHOT!” 

Zoro nods. He just lets that happen. He goes in search of booze.

He doesn’t see Sanji again until the feast. 

The feast is still MOSTLY sweets but Luffy at least has gotten ahold of some real Meat so Zoro sidles up to him and he realises that Sanji’s there on his other side. 

“Zoro!” Luffy shouts. “Sanji says he’s a cook!”

Zoro scoffs. That’s what they all say. 

“I told him to come with us!” 

Zoro raises an eyebrow, looking around Luffy at Sanji, who sports a large bandage over his forehead. “And what did he say?” 

Sanji looks at him. “I said he has terrible decision making skills.”

“So that’s a yes, I take it.” 

Sanji shrugs. “My family’s dead, my mother in law is dead, and my wife shot me in the forehead. Your reindeer pulled the bullet out of my brain.” 

“Gross.” 

“He thinks I need therapy.” 

“Probably.”

Zoro doesn’t trust a lot of people. He thinks probably someone should figure out why this guy’s wife shot him. But he’s also the one who dragged the sad sack out of his tower room. And he thinks there’s something hot about a man who won’t stop bleeding. So. 

“You can cook more than sweets, right?”

“I was a sous chef. Once.” 

“Good enough for me.”

He sticks a little close to Sanji during the rest of their stay on Whole Cake. Just to make sure he’s not about turn tail. And also because he’s Zoro’s type, even when his forehead does stop bleeding.

And that’s why, when they get onto the Sunny, Zoro’s able to pick up on the small way Sanji’s expression shifts. Relaxes. As he steps on board the ship. 

The small smile that graces his features when they set off from shore. 

The way his eyes light up ever so slightly when he walks into the kitchen.

All that is nothing compared to the expression on his face six months later when Luffy cracks the Red Line in half and all the seas flow together.

But Zoro’s not to know that, yet. 

All he knows is there’s something that he feels like he’s missed out on, with this guy. That somehow Sanji should’ve been here from the beginning. 

She gives the suitcase and bag to Teach which confuses him and Marco before she shushes Sanji and whispers she and his mother love him before handing him off and leaving. Sanji is sobbing in Marco's arms and trying to escape and the men talk about getting the helmet off him as they wait for him to either calm down or tire himself out. It takes a while and Marco and Teach keep talking to him, explaining they're going to keep him safe, there's a man who will give everything to protect his family and Sanji will be able to join it. Marco then asks if Sanji can talk and he shakes his head and the commanders are staring at each other because that information wasn't passed on to them. They thought he was just too upset but there's not been words coming from the boy and the noises sound choked and garbled so they take to the ship to start getting the helmet off.

Marco works on picking the locks on it as Teach sends calls out for anyone in the fleet who knows any sign language to meet at Moby and they sail for home. It takes a while and several others to come and try their luck for them to get it off the kid. It doesn’t work, instead they get the jaw to open so Marco smiles at the boy and offers a popsicle, something easy and light and hydrating. Sanji hesitantly takes it and eats it fairly quickly, afraid it’ll disappear or be taken away.

“He looks like you, could be mistaken for your kid.” Teach says when the boy falls asleep, swaddled in a couple of blankets.

“Because we’re blond?” Marco pans at him, Teach shrugs as he leaves. When they reach the fleet, the first things that happen are the helmet is finally picked open and off and Sanji is taken for a bath and thoroughly scrubbed down. Marco looks at the scars on the boy, but especially the one on his neck. He goes slow and asks Sanji if he can write, luckily the kid nods and it’s easy to communicate from there on, since the boy doesn’t know sign and only a couple members of the fleet do, but they’re all spread out over the territory.

Sanji sticks to Marco like he’s glued to him, Marco will carry him or let Sanji hang onto his belt loops, doesn’t shoo him away. Doesn’t mind the noises the kid makes and smiles at him when he does happen to make noise. The Old Man smiles at him and gladly welcomes him to the family, he often teases Marco for bringing the first grand-baby into the fleet. Marco just shrugs and says he’s glad he has the kid.

The same can’t be said for some on the fleet though.

It’s during a fleet party, after Marco puts Sanji to bed, when he’s drinking with a couple other commanders does Sanji run out, face and hands bleeding and dripping onto the deck and it’s the first time Marco actually feels rage. The men following no longer crew, nakama, they’ve tried to hurt a child, spewing that a mute ain’t got a place on the seas. They’re killed faster than Marco remembers and then he’s carrying Sanji to the infirmary, silent sobs shaking the boy as Marco starts cleaning them up.

“Well, it was a joke, but that anger, that fury was of a father. He’s your son.” Newgate says later. “His trust in you is greater than the rest of us, especially after that.”

Marco nods as he reads books on sign language, if he has a son he will do right by him, like his father did by him. Eventually they all start learning so that they can all effectively communicate with the fleet’s baby. Sanji takes to it with ease, a young brain absorbs information far easier than they’re elder brains can. He makes noise still, but the damage to the larynx and vocal chords is irreparable, can’t form words around the scar tissue and his noises are more like squeaks and whines.

Thatch and Marco eventually find Sanji likes to be in the kitchen, to help, to watch, to learn. They brainstorm ways to include Sanji outside of Thatch setting aside time to teach. They want to include him in cooking with the crew and Teach brings up putting a bell on Sanji’s wrist for call backs. Thatch says he could kiss him and Teach gags at the thought. The brother’s laugh as Thatch runs off to find a bell to put on Sanji. Sanji runs around the ship with the bell firmly attached to his wrist, his quiet glee making the commanders and his grandfather fawn over him. Marco has a hard time separating him from his bell when it’s time for bed, the pout, the signing joined by a twinkling bell. Marco just rests his chin on a hand as he watches his son with utter fondness tell him he’s not tired and wants to go back to the kitchen to help clean up.

“Time to rest, kiddo, you can help tomorrow. Let me take the bell off so it doesn’t wake us up.” Marco chuckles. Sanji pouts and holds out his wrist for Marco to remove, he falls asleep within minutes and Marco goes to lay in his own hammock.

Of course fighting with marines and other crews is dangerous for Sanji, an easy target because of his age and once word gets out about his inability to talk-well now everyone’s on edge. It’s only a matter of time before someone manages to actually get their hands on the boy.

And when they do, it’s a bloodbath. No one is satiated until the youngest is found. The pirates who caught him dangle his bell in front of him. They mock him, hit him, they are nothing but cruel as they make insinuations. Sanji tries to be brave but it’s so similar to the dungeon, so similar to what he went through already he begins to dissociate. He tries not to doubt his new family, but he doesn’t think they’re coming for him.

He smells smoke in the back of his head. It’s hard to come back to the forefront as the sounds of war sound from the deck. He hears shouting as Vista rushes to the bars in front of him, there’s several flashes of emotion before the bars are cut open. He goes and grabs Sanji only for him to wrench out of the hands with a gasp and tears pouring from his eyes. Vista tries to calm him but they need to get out before the ship burns down into the sea. Vista apologizes before grabbing the boy and running. Sanji can’t scream, he’s trying to fight his way out of the grip Vista has on him but he won’t let go. Not until they’re on the Moby, when Newgate who is too big for his mind to handle and it sends him spiralling into a panic attack. One that is not easily quelled until Nurse Tate takes him. Sanji eventually calms down later, Tate and Marco working side by side to clean and bandage him.

Tate smiles sweetly at him as she finishes taping some gauze down and moves to tie his bell to his wrist then shakes his arm lightly so it jingles. Sanji repeats the motion easily as Marco moves to check his concussion(moderate), his reflexes(fine-ish), and his breathing(painful thanks to some broken ribs).

“I won't let this happen again, you're my son and I failed to protect you. I'm sorry.” Marco promises. Sanji just leans into him, letting himself be held. The next morning Teach looks at him weirdly, like he's disappointed Sanji’s not more hurt. But he hides it quickly and Sanji doesn't see it again, not for years.

Jozu and Vista take to training the fleet's youngest immediately as he's cleared. He gets stronger as the years pass, a chip on his shoulder for his perceived weakness. He learns fast, Marco and Thatch will watch, and one day Izou decides to take Sanji and give him a gun. A quick training session later he’s fairly comfortable and Marco is looking at his brother and his son as they chat idly about guns, something about his son growing up that makes his chest ache.

It goes that way for years, Sanji gets stronger, the crew keeps track of the youngest, between Germa and all the others wanting him as a pawn in their fights. When they meet with Shanks for an alliance the crew keeps looking for the source of tinkling noise. Only to see a teenager running around with Izou and Vista with a bell on his wrist, smiling widely and making squeaking noises. Beck shares a look with his captain and goes to investigate. Sanji looks at the man built like a solid wall and signs at him. Izou wraps an arm around him possessively and grins at him.

“This is Marco’s boy, Sanji. Careful Beckmann.” Izou’s voice is edged with warning and Beck looks at the boy whose hands are moving faster than Beck knows what to do with. Izou is watching with amusement until something makes his face change dramatically. “I’m not translating that! He’s a right hand of another emperor and you don’t need to start a war!” Izou is looking at the boy and moving to wring his neck when Marco walks up.

“You have a son?” Beck asks the doctor.

“Yep, that’s Sanji.” Marco nods.

“Deaf?” Beck guesses.

“Mute.” Marco corrects as he looks at his kid. “Don’t start anything you can’t finish.” He warns before heading to the captains. Beck looks back at the kid and wild hands and the bell on his wrist, notes the scar on the boy’s neck. He smiles brightly at Beckmann before waving and running off to the galley. Izou sighs and rubs his temples.

“That boy, I swear. Needs friends his age.” Izou grumbles.

“Hard to find when most of the world doesn’t sign.” Beck rubs his shoulder comfortingly. “Or being in the Shirohige.” Izou groans as Beckmann heads back. When the meeting is done and everyone’s eating Shanks makes conversation with the youngest of his ally’s fleet. Thatch acting as translator as they talk and Shanks laughs at the teen’s antics. Later Sanji’s asleep and Shanks and Beck look at the boy, Yasopp says something about Usopp and Luffy that makes all of the Redhaired crew’s hearts ache. The next day they watch Sanji’s legs set alight as he chases Teach for something or other as Vista loses it with Jozu. Beck turns on his heel for their ship within a minute of seeing it. Shanks looks at Thatch and Marco who have their faces in their hands and groaning. Shanks follows Beck immediately after that sight. Over the years the crews have fun, learning to communicate in their own ways.

When a young hotshot tries to kill White Beard and is captured it sends rumors through the crew, very few being allowed to visit the prisoner. Sanji being one of them and he always smiles at the dark haired man who glowers at him. He drops off food and always frowns when he picks it up untouched. He always writes on a notepad to ask but the newcomer ignores him, despite the noises or the bell chime.

Until one day, anyway.

“Just use your voice and speak.” Ace tells the blond outside his cell who flips to a new page on his notepad and writes again. Ace groans and ignores the paper when it’s held out to him and the foot stomp. There’s a noise of anger or something from the blond in front of him but Ace chooses to stare at the ceiling of his cell. Instead a piece of paper is wadded and thrown at his feet as the blond stomps away.

It’s sometime later when Marco comes in and Ace hasn’t touched the food at all or the wadded up paper and the CMO is frowning at the kid. He knew Sanji was here earlier, he had been upset and Izou had taken the baby to go calm down, target practice the crossdresser muttered as he looked at the brig before going for the young blond.

“So, is there a reason you’re not eating and ignoring Sanji?” Marco asks with his arms crossed.

“If he would talk like a normal person maybe I’d listen to him.” Ace growls at him.

Marco blinks at him, the scar on Sanji’s throat is faded but if Ace had bothered to read what Sanji wrote he might know, because Marco doesn’t know what Sanji wrote.”Well, he’s mute mostly, had his vocal chords taken out as a kid.”

“What goods a mute at sea? You need to be strong, not need a babysitter.” Which would be funny coming from anyone but him and had he not said the first part. “The noises he can make drive me up the wall.” But all Marco sees is red and he opens the cell and Ace knows he fucked up so he dodges past and runs. Marco is on his heels but Ace gets to the deck and there’s an arm that chops his throat and stops all his momentum. Vista is glaring at him from where his back landed against the deck and Jozu is holding Marco back from his yelling.

“How dare you! Get off me! Let me go!” Ace hears as he chokes for breath.

“Calm down and explain.” Jozu tells him.

“He asked what goods a mute at sea.” Marco grits as the deck grows quiet. “Then said what noises Sanji can make are annoying.”

“Oh,” Vista says, his hand moving to his sword, “he doesn’t think Sanji is worthy of his bounty?”

“Enough, all of you, Sanji can handle himself. If Ace wants proof Sanji doesn’t need a watcher he can find out for himself.” Whitebeard announces, looking at the man who insulted his grandson. Ace glares as he starts picking himself up from where he was laid out. “Watch yourself, my grandson is not to be trifled with.”

Ace doesn’t feel fear, but a chill runs up his spine anyway. Ace is kept on deck until Izou and Sanji return, both confused at the way everyone is glaring at Ace who’s sat on deck pouting. Sanji’s hands fly in questions which are answered by others, that he’s allowed to fight Ace if he wants because Ace is an idiot and an asshole. Izou is rubbing his temples and groaning before he says they need to eat before Thatch comes hunting for Sanji. Thatch says it’s dinner time anyway and for everyone to come eat. They all follow, even Ace who watches Sanji’s hand move gracefully as Marco and Teach smile at him and ask questions which his hands seemingly answer. Ace has never encountered this in his travels before, so he watches the hands dance in the air, against his chest and head and face. Thatch smiles and brings up ingredients he’s found and the recipes they could try and Sanji must be putting his own input in. Sanji’s smile is bright like the sun over the ocean and Ace can’t pull his eyes from his hands.

“His feet dance just as well as his hands. Unless you still have your views?” Teach grins at him.

“Why doesn’t everyone know how to do that? Seems too useful to not know.” Ace grumbles.

“Because you aren’t the only one who held such views,” Vista starts, “took us all a bit of getting used to a quiet kid. But, once we did he had us all wrapped around his finger. Also makes him especially sneaky so I’d expect his revenge against you will be quite entertaining.” Vista’s grin is malicious and Ace feels his stomach churn.

“Don’t be mean to my boy again, understood?” Marco asks Ace and he doesn’t miss the phrasing of it.

“Yeah, I got it.” Ace chokes out as Sanji rolls his eyes. He is certainly Marco’s boy, the first grandchild of Edward Newgate. He is the baby of the fleet, used to be attached to Marco by the hip.

also bonus full body sprite