Lazy Bird

Welcome. You’re probably here because you’ve started to think that pop superstar Taylor Swift is… Shall we say… A teeny bit fruity… And you know what? You’re not alone. Many people think that. In fact, over the course of her illustrious career, gay rumors have continuously cropped up linking her to various women. Do I know for a fact that this is what happened? Lmao no. But I (with the help of various friends but mostly importantly @adastrabella) tried to explain what might’ve happened. 

We thank you for reading this Magnum Opus:

1) Welcome to the first “Realistic” Kaylor Masterpost

2) Debunking Joshlie’s Reasons to “Beard”

3) Joshlie starts

4) Back in Tay’s World

5) Kaylor Rises?

6) Things Get Messy

7) Taylor Showmances

8) Kaylor Reunited?

9) Joshlie Back for Good

10) 2016′s Summer of Mess

11) Debunking Late Stage Kaylor Myths

12) Late Stage Kaylor and Beyond

What will the various essays above prove? (Gd I wish there were thirteen instead of twelve because it’d be SO MUCH MORE I C O N I C). Well, nothing seeing as how we don’t know these people. But here’s what we think maybe happened:

I built some of my polyhedra (Polyhedron, Uniform polyhedron compound)

Also, Object of my inspiration is here:

The book Polyhedron Models by Magnus Wenninger

Luigi Mussini (Italian, 1813-1888) 

in the great war, taylor sings,

“All that bloodshed crimson clover”

- this is gayyyy, (let me explain)

pt. 1 // green & red lesbian movie motif

to state the obvious, crimson is a shade of red and clover is a green plant and a shade of green. the red and green motif (two sapphic women, one wearing red and the other wearing green) has been used in many sapphic films, some of which include:

portrait of a lady on fire:

carol:

beanpole:

killing eve:

and many others as well (harley quinn & poison ivy, fried green tomatoes, the world to come, summerland, etc.)

this is not accidental. perhaps one or two instances would be a mere coincidence, but to have this many movies dressing one woman in green and her lover in red is a purposeful motif. the director of beanpole has talked about how purposeful this color choice is, saying:

source: variety magazine

pt. 2 // crimson and clover & joan jett

crimson and clover was a 1968 song by tommy james and the shondells. apparently, some interpreted this song as commentary on the war that way going on at this time. but all that the lyrics illustrate is a love song. joan jett covered this song in 1981. for anyone unfamiliar with joan jett, she is a queer singer/songwriter. to anyone who tries to argue that it is only assumed that she is queer, she has literally confirmed it:

source: wikipedia

joan jett’s cover of this song, a song which talks of romantic love for a person with female pronouns, is quite popular both in the queer community and outside of it. it is one of the most popular, if not the most popular, cover of this song.

pt. 3 // willow mv

taylor has used the red and green motif before in a slightly different way. both of these images are from the willow music video, and in the second one taylor can be seen wearing a red dress with a dark green cloak over it. earlier in the mv, taylor is seen in a glass box (glass closet - a term describing a situation where someone is technically closeted but many people know they are queer, even without direct confirmation) where she and her supposed lover hold their hands up attempting to touch each other, but something is in the way. while some interpret this as taylor not being able to be with the man she loves, i see it as her being with this man but not fully, because a part of her is not being expressed. once she comes out of the box (closet) she is dressed in a red and green outfit (image 2) and she goes on to do a witchy dance with a bunch of cloaked women. the dance turns into some sort of magical ritual/circle—which is interesting because queer women have been persecuted and called/been portrayed as witches throughout history.

pt. 4 // karlie & taylor (final part)

the green and red motif in real life. the first picture is karlie and taylor at new york fashion week in 2015, the second is the two of them on the cover of vogue magazine. notice how in both images karlie is wearing green while taylor is wearing red.

1989 set:

acoustic set:

Given Taylor's latest Betty speech, I'm posting the sections on Mimetic Attraction in my Queer Themes Masterdoc. Just for fun.

Romantic Rivals

With heterosexuality as the standard, many queer people dismiss parts of themselves that don’t fit society, and our own expectations of what our lives will look like. For people who don’t feel attraction to the opposite sex, this can be particularly confusing, and we often look to other women to figure out what we think we should want relying on mimetic desire. 

René Girard’s theory of mimetic desire essentially states that when a subject doesn’t know what they want, they turn to ‘models’ to help them determine an ‘object of desire.’ 

Some songs that demonstrate mimetic desire include Dolly Parton’s Jolene, where the narrator focuses on Jolene’s ‘beauty’ that's ‘beyond compare’ rather than the object of her affection, and Little Big Town’s Girl Crush where the narrator says she wants to ‘taste her lips because they taste like him’. 

Similarly Invisible, and You Belong With Me are examples of Taylor expressing desire for a male love interest through the filter of another girl who has him.  

Better than Revenge is an example of this as a form of competition rather than longing. Taylor focuses on the model, in this case the ‘actress’ who stole the object, literally referred to as a ‘toy’ from the subject, the narrator. 

It’s not about the boy at all, but Taylor’s frustration at being bested by her rival. Similarly in many of the earlier songs on the discography, Taylor expresses wanting a love interest that is desired by other girls and she’s compelled to compete for him. Her focus remains on the model, rather than the object. 

Male Perspective

Adopting the ‘male perspective’ allows Taylor to take it a step further, singing directly about her true object of affection but de-queering it by stepping into the shoes of the model. 

Singing about women isn’t evidence of same-sex attraction because the narrator is adopting the point of view of 17-year-old boy; a heterosexual model.

Androgyny and gender ambiguity was and still is a big part of queer expression, and played a significant role in the progression of LGBTQIA+ visibility through the New Romantic movement. Queer women have been taking the male perspective for a long time, in large part because it’s the societal standard for expressing attraction to women. 

Many of Sappho’s surviving poems compare the man who gets to be close to her muse to a ‘hero’ or a ‘god.’ Due to this some historians argue that she was “expressing a persona” and only felt “friendly affection” for the woman she describes. The original ‘male perspective’ argument. 

Emily Dickinson would adopt the male perspective, writing of her “boyhood”, signing letters to her cousins as “Brother Emily,” and calling herself a “boy,” “prince,” “earl,” or “duke” in various poems. In her poem ‘Rearrange a “Wife’s” Affection’ she says “Amputate my freckled Bosom! Make me bearded like a Man!”

She also started switching pronouns when she considered publication, calling them ‘bearded pronouns’. This may be the earliest usage of the concept of ‘bearding’.

In the end the truth is what it’s always been. Singing about rivals and taking the ‘male perspective’ are just mechanisms that provide a veil of plausible deniability for Taylor to sing about women. 

taylor swift & queer gemstones pt. 1

note: i refer to the narrator as “taylor”, just because it is easier to do so, i understand that this song could very much be entirely fictional.

in ivy, taylor sings:

“He’s in the room / Your opal eyes are all I wish to see / He wants what’s only yours”

she associates opal with this person’s eyes, and therefore with the person she is singing to. the key thing here is that opal is not an eye color. though opal comes in many different colors, it often appears very pale and green with flecks of blue/pink/green (not an eye color), or in dark blue, orange, red, dark green, or purple (all not eye colors).

because “opal eyes” doesn’t have a literal meaning, we have to turn to the metaphorical. there are two things that stand out about opal stones. one, their color(s) are rarely the same, they are always different depending on where they are found and how the light hits them. two, that opals mean hope and truth. they also symbolize passion and desire.

the first meaning is quite obvious— taylor repeatedly describes that the relationship she shares with the person she sings to is a secret.

she describes this secrecy many times in the song:

“What would he do if he found us out?”

“I’d love and die for moments that we stole / On begged and borrowed time”

evidently, this person plays a different role in her life when they are in different places/situations. in private, they are lovers, while in public, they are not. just like an opal, who this person is to taylor is different depending on their location (hidden in the light, truthful in the dark). this is further proven with the line:

“It’s a goddamn blaze in the dark”

this is also why taylor mentions opal eyes. this person has opal eyes because they look at her differently depending on where they are and who they are with.

now to decode the second meaning of opal. to split this into two parts, we can group passion and desire together. we can also group truth and hope together.

the desire, and all related opal meanings (passions, attraction, etc.) are pretty straight forward. the song centers around desire for a person you cannot have and passion that must be acted upon only in secret.

the meaning of “the truth” is slightly more complicated. taylor views this person with opal eyes, meaning she sees this person as the truth, her truth. additionally, because this person has opal eyes and is looking at taylor with them, this person views taylor as their truth. they both hope to be able to freely live their truth with one another.

so to recap, these two are having an affair, the singer (we’re calling her taylor because it’s easier) is married to a man, but sees the person she is cheating with as her truth. this person plays a different role and looks at taylor differently depending on where they are. the two people so badly want to be together in public, but are unable to.

this is so obviously queer. of course taylor would be afraid of being found out if she were cheating with a man, but she would not be afraid of people discovering something as large and all consuming as her truth.

so what is her truth?

the person she is cheating with is a woman. she and this woman want to be together, but so much stands in their way. taylor’s husband, society’s views on homosexuality, and more. not only are these women’s truths each other, their sapphic desires are. this song suggests much more than just a secret romance. it suggests a rebellious act that is rooted much deeper in both taylor and the other woman’s identities that infidelity itself is.

(note: These are NOT excuses, I do not agree with her choice to associate with Matty no matter the outcome. But I believe this is blatant PR work and everything we know right now, she wants us to know)

1. She’s looking to destroy her good girl image. She’s sick of being infantilized and held to impossible standards. Even after the hyper sexual vigilante shit performance, gaylors are being told they’re disgusting for implying she is a sexual person. She wants to be seen as a grown woman who can publicly make mistakes and not be held to some bizarre standard of purity and perfection.

2. She wants to demonstrate how fake her relationship with Joe was through the ever-changing narrative. Was he the love of her life and she’ll never walk Cornelia street again, or was that all PR and it was never really about Joe Alwyn?

3. She’s been telling people she has cheated, participated in infidelity, etc multiple times through her music, and yet she is still upheld by many fans as being some kind of god fearing wifey-mama material. Again, she’s looking to shatter that image by moving on so quickly to Matty and the implications surrounding that.

4. Should it come out that they weren’t actually dating (I’m hoping anyway), it will help the narrative that the media will pair her up with any man she’s seen with (but not a woman).

5. This protects any of the women she has been and/or is currently involved with. We got a taste of Singlor, then Gaylorism began picking up more mainstream traction, then Matty happened. That’s not an accident. Specific women were being named and shit was shut down fast. I cannot imagine the ironclad NDAs some of these folks must have.

6. Matty was the most obvious choice for the next beard. In addition to helping clear kissgate out of the search results for “Taylor swift the 1975,” he helps fit the narrative of any new music she plans to release about her secretive, scandalous relationship(s). Plus, based on how south it went with Joe, I’m sure there weren’t a ton of stable individuals looking to jump into a bearding contract with the most powerful woman in the music industry. Matty doesn’t care about his reputation (that is abundantly clear), so I’m sure it was an easy sell.

I just would like to bring up this heavenly cover, (if you haven’t watched her cover of this you need to) because I have many things to say after reading comments, and just watching it.

(This cover aired October, 2014)

I love that she’s so “straight” that not only did she not change the pronouns, but her and the interviewer said the song was from a woman’s perspective.

Let’s simply go through the lyrics shall we? Here’s a little key for my OCD babes reading my complicated explanation 😘

Orange: Karlie

Pink: Taylor

Blue: 1989

Green: evermore

I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations

Taylor was scared of pretty girls, does that sound like any supermodel we know?

This guy decides to quit his job and heads to New York City

Taylor quit her life back home in Pennsylvania & Nashville and headed to New York City, and lived near who? Cornelia street anyone?

This living situation obviously resulted in quite the album called “1989”.

This video came out on October 9th, 2014, it was obviously promo for 1989 which came out October 27th, 2014.

We obviously know and realize that part of 1989 is about Diana Aragon and Taylor’s relationship with her.

We also realize that by the time both this interview and 1989 came out Taylor had publicly known Karlie for 11 months.

However this Victoria’s Secret fashion show⬇️ was actually taped in November of 2013, so they had officially known each other almost a full year privately.

So the way she didn’t change any pronouns and was so happy singing it because of this lack of change, implys her happiness with whatever relationship they had going on. Whether that be platonic or romantic.

This cowboy's running from himself

Taylor is running from herself and the pain she caused herself with her last relationships. And of course Incidentally references her not yet planned 9th studio album.

And the song called “cowboy like me”

You're a cowboy like me, Perched in the dark

Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear

Eyes full of stars

Hustling for the good life (fame +riches)

Never thought I'd meet you here (at a VS fashion show? 😏)

It could be love

Wonder who that songs about… anyway-

And she's been living on the highest shelf

Karlie is a supermodel, she makes bank, and gets the highest tier treatment.

Closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer that you've ever seen

(Michelle pfeiffer left, karlie kloss right)

A little bit self explanatory why this cover wasn’t done just for promo isn’t it?

Let's HOPE for the best. 🤞

2017 Kristen Stewart came out as gay! 🏳️‍🌈

This is a blog post from 2009:

👇 👇 READ ON 👇 👇 READ ON 👇 👇