queer masc positivity blog! inclusive of anyone who identifies as male, masculine, male-aligned, or just wants to include aspects of being male as a part of their larger identity. anti-medicalization, anti-truscum, pro-queer, pro-self-determination! feel free to ask for advice or share stories, vents, etc, through the ask function. feel free to submit selfies or stories or art through the submit. click this link for more about the blog and the mod!
lavenderboylove is an inclusive positivity blog for queer masculinity. "lavender boy" is an antiquated derogatory term for queer men that many of us reclaim. this blog is for trans men, gay men, nonbinary men, people who are partially male or want to align themselves with men, or anyone whoâs queer and feels kinship with the labels âmaleâ or âmasc." yes, women who align with manhood or masculinity are welcome. i don't ask questions or gatekeep; if something on this blog feels like it's for you, then it is.
everyone is welcome to interact (including people who aren't men whatsoever--there are no limits to spreading positivity!), but please respect:
do not submit transmedicalist or truscum content
do not submit anti-queer content
do not submit content that seeks to gatekeep queer identities
do not submit anti-feminist content
do not try to start discourse on this blog, if i say that iâm going to stop interacting with a specific topic, do not try to force me to continue talking about it
along those lines, some stuff i want to clarify:
this blog is inclusionist
this blog supports ace and aro men
this blog supports multigendered people of all sexualities (yes, this includes labels like male lesbian)
this blog supports non-dysphoric trans people
this blog supports polyamorous and kinky men
while this blog is focused on queerness, it supports and seeks to uplift disabled men, men of color, fat men, men in sex work, and other non-queer marginalized masculinities
this blog is anti-authoritarian and anti-fascist
this blog is explicitly feminist and all positivity is directed toward masculinities marginalized and punished under patriarchy
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
You know that tidbit about how "if you want to be a girl/boy, but you don't want to consider yourself transgender or commit to any form of transition because 'I'd make an ugly girl/boy!', then you are already transgender and a girl/boy"? The same is true for non-binary people. If what's stopping you from thinking of yourself as non-binary is a fear that you'll turn out ugly or like a caricature of a non-binary person, or that no-one will ever view you as worthy of love if you're non-binary, you are non-binary and expressing gender dysphoria and imposter syndrome. Just thought I'd let you know.
I do sometimes wonder how many non-binary people there are out there who think they can't be non-binary because that would make them ugly. That they can't be non-binary because they're not [insert insulting stereotype of non-binary people here], and they don't want to be [stereotype], so clearly they must just be a little GNC.
It is oft-repeated that non-binary people don't owe anyone androgyny, but not nearly as often is it repeated that non-binary people don't owe anyone conventional attractiveness. I believe this needs stating because people do not believe non-binary people can be attractive, or anything other than [insert insulting stereotype here], at all. Or, if someone believes we can be attractive, then they often believe we must be perfectly androgynous and near-angelic and viewed as a total bombshell by everyone of all genders all the time. In essence, we are defined out of conventional attractiveness almost entirely, with a small handful of people allowing narrow exceptions to people who are very, very lucky and willing to conform to a specific look. This pairs poorly with the number of people who have been told their whole life that their worth is defined entirely by how beautiful they are and how well they conform to a gender. Of course there are a ton of people who are not willing to give up the thing that everyone values them for, in favour of choosing something that everyone thinks is ugly.
For the record, I think non-binary people are beautiful. Non-binary people need to be told they are beautiful more often, especially those who are told that their choice to transition is a downgrade that will make them ugly and revolting and mutilated and therefore unlovable. But non-binary people are often not conventionally attractive, because the conventions in question are decided by the patriarchal sex-binary, which will always prefer that non-binary people stop being non-binary in any visible way. So this is why I must repeat that non-binary people do not owe anyone attractiveness-- because, in many cases, a prerequisite for conventional attractiveness includes not being non-binary. So non-binary people need to be told that they are worth more than what patriarchal dipshits assume about their character based off of their body. It is more important for you to like your body than for others to like it, and the point of transition is to make you like your body. This is the #1 reason why you should transition.
i was listening to some 70's song + thinking abt art from the Harlem Renaissance and blaxploitation stuff. I drew this very sleep deprived but I'm glad ppl like him a lot (â áľâ á´Ľâ áľâ )
truthfully even with me trying to sound like a intellectual Abt my art, I rly just wanted to draw a sexy art piece featuring a black character with a body type I have, back rolls and all.
from "A lesbian married to a man? writing on the expansiveness of lesbian life" by Jenn M. Jackson, PhD
(image description / transcript under the cut)
image description: four photos of Dr. Jenn M. Jackson, a genderqueer Black lesbian, and their husband over the years of their relationship, interspersed with excerpts from the essay.
the text reads:
I got married to my best friend on May 27th, 2006. We met on move-in day at the University of Southern California back in August 2002. We were both student residents on the Somerville Place floor at school, also known as the âBlack Floor.â When we met, I was wearing a gray Ecko Unlimited jogging suit with gray Jordanâs. He was wearing khaki shorts (which I would learn was a part of his regular uniform as a Black boy from Orange County, CA) and And1 tennis shoes. I truly thought he was a square. But, over the course of a few days, I felt drawn to him. We sat together on the bus that weekend, heading out for bonding events. We found each other in every crowd. And, we kept getting asked, âdid yâall know each other in high school or something?â
Over time, I identified as bisexual (from about age 16 to 28), then pansexual (from about 28 to 35), and then understanding myself as a lesbian after 35 years old. Daren came to identify as asexual around 2016 after we had been married for about 10 years. We both struggled through our new identities, finding alignment in the naming and community. And, as the romantic and sexual part of our relationship transitioned, we actually became closer. We have learned to build so many expansive forms of intimacy that do not involve sex and sexual pleasure. We shower together, take long baths (usually where we plan new episodes of our podcast), take regular walks, and spend time each day talking to each other as if we are long lost friends. He is my best friend. I love him.
Because I have never believed in the concept of a âsoul mateâ and have never internalized narratives around someone else âcompleting me", I am able to have a deeply loving and committed relationship with my best friend, coparent, and spouse even while maintaining loving and intimate relationships with women and gender expansive people. While I am no longer attracted to cisgender men and do not date or sleep with them, I have never felt compelled to leave or divorce my spouse. We have raised three incredible free Black children together, started a business, and written books. We play videogames and travel together as we have always done. When we are sick, we care for one another. When we are down, we hold one another.
I have never understood marriage to be about sex and attraction. I have always understood marriage as a formal contract with the state. âTo have and to holdâŚâ and all of that. I watched women in my family marry men they thought were sexy only to have those men abuse them and break their spirits. I have watched marriages of obligation grow boring, dull, and loveless. I have witnessed many people use someone elseâs definition of love and marriage to build their own.
We rebuke that.
I am a lesbian married to an incredible, loving, beautiful Black man. A man who has nursed me through emergency open heart surgery and helped me learn to walk again both literally and metaphorically. I am married to man who has never needed me to be seen and not heard. Who has never challenged my intellect or diminished my accomplishments. I am married to a Black man who loves himself, his children, his life, and his future selves. I married well.
And, one day, when I meet the women or gender expansive people of my dreams, that man I married nearly twenty years ago will be standing there beside me, genuinely happy for me because he knows that no matter who or how I love, it will never change how I feel about him.
photo 1: a series of black and white photo strips of Jenn and Daren in college. they kiss, grin, and make silly faces
photo 2: Jenn and Daren in college, their faces pressed together, smiling widely
photo 3: a young Jenn with their arm around Daren
photo 4: Jenn in their late 30s, posed on their couch with their dog in their lap. Daren stands behind the couch, his arm around them. Jenn's book, Black Women Taught Us, is posed to the side.
On the subject of feminine transmascs and alt fashion transmascs, to anyone who is either (or both), I LOVE YOU! Keep being yourself and loving yourself whatever that looks like, you don't owe anyone shit king
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
If you're a trans woman and you also want to identify with manhood, maleness, or masculinity, but feel like you can't because you aren't "allowed," remember that you're a woman in spite of the fact that people AMAB aren't "allowed" to be women. Gay men not wanting trans women in their spaces isn't any different than cis lesbians not wanting trans women in their spaces. Rejecting a sincere desire to identify with those things simply because of social pressure is surrendering to transmisogyny. You can do whatever you want forever and if people have an objection to your identity, you just have to stand up and take it by force!
its funny how many trans people will say gender is a social construct in defense of transness existing and yet it seems not actually understand the actual argument theyre making because instead of saying gender is something we (as a society) constructed and defined and ergo we can deconstruct it and reconstruct it and redefine it however we want seemingly many of these people are instead saying gender is a social construct so its okay for me to identify with this other already constructed gender category
the former is revealing the fundamentally fluid nature of this concept and our language around it and the latter is seemingly a defense of the existence of predefined boxes in favor of arguing that they simply belong in another and the folks who mean the latter tend to have a really hard time understanding trans people whose existences defy easy un nuanced explanations despite saying that gender is a social construct they do not believe it is a social construct and or cannot fathom the logical extensions of this truth
all that to say woman can mean anything trans woman can mean anything you can be a he/him trans woman you can be a trans woman whose a man you can be a man whose a trans woman you can be a butch trans woman (youd be in good company!!!) you can be anything you want forever and anyone including other trans people who deny you the right of self expression and identity simply so not understand that its all made up and none of the rules need to be followed
youre already not following many of them by being trans dont fret yourself about following rules that define some box others believe trans people to exist in either
Lil nas x coming back during pride month to tell us hes been taking care of his physical and mental health, finishing rehab and getting treatment for bipolar disorder, and telling us that he is excited to not only make new music but also just to live his life???? And during mens mental health awareness month????? Oh i missed him bad
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Color photograph taken at the 1994 San Francisco Pride parade that depicts a group of trans men marching in a parade with a sign made by Loren Cameron that reads "FTM TRANS PRIDE." In the front row from left to right: Max Wolf Valerio, Matt Rice, David Harrison, Loren Cameron, and an unknown person. In the back row, in the crowd, from left to right: Susan Stryker (holding baby), Brynn Craffey, and Stephan Thorne. Digitized copy of the original photo provided by David Harrison.
the article i just read about lou alcott (louisa may alcott, author of little women) was wild because it was literally like "he preferred being called lou and his whole family always called him that. he never identified with girlhood or liked feminine things and said he had a boy's spirit and longed to be a boy and believed he was a man's soul put into a woman's body. he loved dressing up as a man and passing for a man and being flirted with by people who thought he was a man. he called himself a gentleman and a father to his adopted children and his own father once lamented sending "his only son" to war when he enlisted in the army as a nurse.
...calling her a trans man is reductive and misses the point of her work though lol she was obviously a cis woman who was speaking figuratively because women in the 1800s weren't allowed to wear pants!"
Peoples biggest defense is always âwe donât know how they would identify in this dayâ which IS true but I find it interesting how they have little problem âjustifyingâ Louâs feelings by calling him a cis lesbian or a nonbinary person or a tomboy.
Thereâs also so much terf rhetoric towards this subject of Louâs identity that Iâm almost certain itâs just discriminationâŚ
âShe was confusedâ
âShe didnât understand the world properlyâ
âShe was trying to escape oppressionâ
I donât know why people are so convinced trans men/mascs existing is anti-feminist but itâs not, people literally parrot misogynistic points just to take away their identity and that should say enough.
We donât know how he would have identified today, however; we DO know how he preferred being referred to in his daily life and how he saw himself in the past. I think he is owed that much.
âI am more than half-persuaded that I am, by some freak of nature, a manâs soul put into a womanâs body.â
Louisa May Alcott felt a strong affinity with manhood.
To family and friends, she was Lou, Lu or Louy. She wrote of herself as the âpapaâ or âfatherâ of her young nephews. Her father, Bronson, once called Alcott his âonly son.â In letters to her close friend Alfie Whitman, Alcott called herself âa man of all workâ and âa gentleman at large.â
This is all BARELY mentioned in the Wikipedia entry, so an opportunity there to help fix the representation.
ah, thank you, i think that first article from LGBTQ nation may have been the one i read back in july when i posted this! just from quickly skimming over it, it appears to include all these points i mentioned and argues in favor of lou alcott being a trans manâbut then includes a section at the end about the idea that "she was just speaking figuratively and saying she was a trans man is backwards and anti-feminist" đđ transmascs existing and living their lives is not anti-feminist. saying that someone who called himself all kinds of masculine terms and enjoyed being seen as a man just might have been a man is not illogical or unreasonable, these people are just transphobic.
@chiefexecutiveossomancer asked if i could find the article, and @petiolata also mentioned wanting to read it, so here you go!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I kinda crammed multiple issues into one here, because it's a big topic. But this is equally about people who try to scare others out of T because they think T effects are ugly and people who genuinely enjoy T effects and think you're not fit for T if you only want some of them.
There's a big pressure in some trans spaces to enjoy the idea of looking like a mythical "normal dude". Like if your transition goal would stand out in a line of extras for a family comedy, you're doing it wrong. And whenever someone says "I want to go on T, but don't want more body hair", for example, these people treat it like an insult to the practice.
I guess, what I'm saying is less "some people think T will make you ugly" and more "some people think T will take away your chances at a more artificial and ethereal type of beauty and you're supposed to love that".
In minds of many trans people, cis men are allowed more diversity of visual expression, and in part it is because their existence is seen more like a blank slate. They're often not perceived as actively having a gender that femininity or androgyny could be in conflict with. And nobody thinks about them as "people on testosterone", even though, technically, in some ways, they are.
Meanwhile trans men and other people who may want T are seen as taking active masculinizing steps. And an attempt to deviate from typical masculine body goals confuses and enrages some people. It's seen as a waste of T, as appropriation of the "true trans" experience.
Obligatory disclaimer that this applies only to some online spaces, not the society as a whole. But it's a thing that exists.
people on here throw such a fit about people openly and specifically including men and men's issues in their fight for liberation, insist that actually it is vital feminist praxis to only ever engage with other human beings through the lens of "are you the Innocent Victim Gender or the Evil Rapist Gender", and then you look at a Black liberation group and
"Love Black Men: Boldly, intentionally, and without condition. This love calls us to confront and dismantle systems of oppression, patriarchy, and anti-black racism that equally devalue Black menâs lives, criminalize their presence and deny their full humanity. To love Black men is to make space for their healing, joy, complexity and vulnerabilityânot as a counterpoint to safety, dignity, or gender justice, but as essential to it. We call on ourselves and our communities to choose to build systems grounded in care, accountability, liberation and create spaces where Black men can thrive in love and be loved in return."
crazy. isn't it.
we are loved! @lavenderboylove - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
