Laurels Silly Stuff

I had a dream last night that I had my first kiss with someone I really loved (in the dream, it wasn’t a real person) but in the dream I absolutely hated it? It just felt like nothing. And I can’t help but wonder if that’s how it will be for me in the future also? I’m a little worried that I won’t feel the “sparks” that are somewhat destined to happen when you kiss someone you love for the first time….. I feel like I have this endless desire to be loved in a romantic way, yet an endless fear that it’s just too much love for me to handle. I find myself loving each and every one of my surroundings, which definitely doesn’t help me differentiate from romance and adoration, though I suppose they could go hand in hand with one another. I just feel this deeply planted seed inside of me to make a relationship happen, but I just don’t know with whom I could see myself with? 🤔 I know people love me, but I can never tell what kind of love it is.

Listening to robot rock while I wait

“What is that moody synth im hearing”