and oh the gory truth of it

Hey when you're writing up your NDAs, could you include a clause that lets everyone still talk to me? Yeah, whatever, I won't tell anyone, I just wanna know. Thanks.

somebody get that girl a large sized beverage before she loses it completely

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app

illegal to make me dress for a job interview under these conditions (hot)

went well, old men love me, here’s hoping

Once the dead horse decomposes, you're gonna wish you beat it more