if it makes you happy, let it

sometimes it … really really upsets me how certain people have left my life and i want to reach out again but i realize like… if thats how they valued our bond, thats not really the energy i want to invite back into my life. like if i really really enjoyed their presence but that wasn’t reciprocated? genuine best wishes to them in finding people who match them better who they can be better for

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

Telling someone who has depression to “be happy” would probably make them more depressed because they want to but can’t.

The real glo up is when you stop waiting to turn into some perfect hypothetical version of yourself and consciously enjoy being who you are in the present moment.

ocean blog

ocean blog here

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

i just want all my secrets back, i don’t want anyone to know anything about me anymore.