La pulga snob

LGBT people: So, does that mean you care about LGBT people?

Conservatives: No! Gay people are pedophiles, and transgender women are just men who want to invade women’s restrooms and harass women! WE NEED TO PROTECT WOMEN!

Women: So, does that mean you care about women?

Conservatives: Shut up, feminazi! Women in the United States are not oppressed! If you want to talk about women’s oppression, you should be focusing on how women in other countries are treated!

Refugees: So, does that mean you care about people from other countries?

Conservatives: Stay out of our country! Why should we care about refugees when we have people here who need help?

Homeless People: So, does that mean you care about people who need help?

Behold the King’s daughter, fairest among maidens. Lips red as a rose, hair black as ebony, skin white as a Keith Urban concert. No wonder a handsome foreigner was smitten when he saw her. And his love didn’t go unrequited. This is how the Tale of Beren and Luthien begins in The Silmarillion. Boom! See that misdirection? You thought it was some Snow White shit, but it wasn’t. I mean, it is that, but it’s also Tolkien.

Mortal man Beren and elf maiden Luthien Tinuviel (of the new Jersey Tinuviels) are forebears of the kings of Numenor and Gondor. Seeing as how the love story of Beren and Luthien echoes through the millennia in their great-great-many-times-great-grandchildren, it comes as no surprise that a similar fate awaits Aragorn and Arwen’s descendant, Snow White.

At this point you may be thinking that we’re smoking too much of that pipe with Gandalf, but have you noticed Snow White’s rapport with the birds and beasts of the wild? The way they listen and respond to her?

Doesn’t this suggest a deep connection with nature, as someone with Elvish blood would have?