if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George

it’s optimus pride

like what if i go to the kitchen at night to get some water and an underwater cave system is there

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

my ability to take this 🫢 emoji seriously has been obliterated by that one image

went to everything sucks island and i was there. im there. oooooh shit dude why ddid i go here

Well, escargot is big there

*nods* they were going to eat me

accidentally said Shirley instead of Siri and now my phone is stuck in Airplane mode

every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit

A big enough garlic bread can bring a dead man back to life and cure all ailments

one sup of this will have you demanding the news

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich