XOXOMKNATION

What’s the greatest lesson a woman should learn? That since day one she’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not. @rupikaur_ #fashion @namaslaycollective 🥻 #photography @akashaonabeat 📸 #wcw #rupikaur #rupikaurpoetry #dougla #desi #desifashion #crystalball #brownskin #brownskingirls #lanapatel (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYqat-sL65r/?utm_medium=tumblr

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” #mayaangelou 💕 #nosering @namaslaycollective ✨ #fashion @veiledcollection @inveiledcollection 🧕🏽 ✨ I'm wearing the @veiledcollection #dustypink #satin #rouche #maxidress and dusty #pink #chiffon #hijab ✨🌹 #modestfashion #modestclothing #hijabstyle #hijabfashion #hijablook #brownskin #brownskingirls #rose #motivationmonday #mayaangelouquotes #namaslay #lanapatel (at 𝐈𝐬𝐡𝐪_𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐚_𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞) https://www.instagram.com/lanapatelxoxo/p/CYlRRrprNNX/?utm_medium=tumblr

The universe took its time on you. Crafted you precisely so you could offer the world something distinct from everyone else. So when you doubt how you were created you doubt an energy greater than us both." — Rupi Kaur. @rupikaur_ #fashion by @namaslaycollective 📸 #photography by @akashaonabeat ✨ #rupikaur #rupikaurpoetry #flowers #flowerstagram #flowersofinstagram #garden #dougla #desi #brownskin #goldenhour #tbt #throwback #throwbackthursday #lanapatel (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYasHfrApdC/?utm_medium=tumblr

" I was born a boy" was the title of the @marieclairemag coming out interview with @janetmock dated May 18, 2011. I was 21 years old, finally getting back in my feet after being homeless and building myself up from ground zero. I looked at the woman in that article and saw myself. A brown skin black and Asian Trans woman with a head full of curls sitting in NYC living her dream. A writer for a major publication under the age of 30 as a Trans woman living stealth?! Unheard of until then. Writing has been my passion since I was 8 and while I had dreams of becoming a prolific writer; I knew my Trans identity would stunt my dreams and force me to do something "within my means". Janet was my salvation during a time of my life where I was navigating an uphill battle between survival and a desire to more than was ever expected of me. After attending a major state university (FSU) double majoring in the arts and behavioral science, I come across a woman after my own heart who has made the journey to the other side. I dreamt of being passable and living in stealth. I was a black Trans woman living in the conservative deep south. My safety depended on my ability to navigate the world sea cis assumed woman. I at that time was not there. I was the ugly duckling amongst my Trans friends, the brick, the clock monster. Family feared being seen with me in public due to not knowing how to deal with potential danger. I internalized a lot of self hatred and just wanted to see the woman I felt on the inside. When @marvelgirl.eth of @joremagazine reached out to work in this piece I couldn't say no. I saw the photo of Janet and was transported to first time seeing my role model, my cocoon period and my metamorphosis. I look at these photos and I'm transported to 2011 when I would listen to @arcadefire "The #suburbs" album and recite the lyrics " I would rather be wrong, Than live in the shadows of your song". Dreaming of a future where I became the butterfly and shed my former self. Fully becoming the woman I've always wanted to be. Becoming a woman like my idol @janetmock #becoming #metamorphosis #caterpillar #butterfly #trans #transgirl #transgender #lanapatel (at Chaguanas, Trinidad and Tobago) https://www.instagram.com/lanapatelxoxo/p/CYVh-Exqsu2/?utm_medium=tumblr

It was December 31st 2006 when I took femininizing hormones for the first time after socially transitioning since the summer. It was my freshman year in college and I was ready to truly live my life. " Elegance isn't the prerogative of those who just escaped adolescence but of those who have already taken possession of their future " Coco Chanel At 17 years old I was ready to take full control of my life. I applied my first estrogen patch and put a tablet of spironolactone under my tongue because I read online that taking hormones sublingually would minimize effects on the liver, however, I was not ready for the bitter minty taste that would ensue from letting the Spiro sit under my tongue. I pushed pass the taste, to sit in satisfaction knowing that I was finally embarking on a journey to liberate myself from my internal prison called gender dysphoria. By the time I was 17 I had been rejected by 3 doctors in search of finding someone to prescribe gender affirming hormone therapy (gaht) or what we called hormone replacement therapy (hrt) in my day. I was desperate to stop the production of testosterone in my body and usher in estrogen, the sex hormone I felt I should have had running through my veins from birth. I lived in backwoods and conservative Polk County Florida, a place that didn't have an LG Center, let alone know what transgender was. Yet, there I was hoping someone who take a chance on me so I could make my dreams come true. The last doctor, my primary care physician, said " I don't give female hormones to 16 year old boys. Maybe you can go to Tampa or Miami where they do that there " with a look of disgust , she walked out of the room with no referral to a hormone provider but was sure to drop me as her patient that day. So without access to a car to travel to Tampa or Miami, I turned to the black market for hormones. I self medicated on black market hormones for the first 5 years of my transition. Mimicking hormone regimes from Trans women who would post what they took online. Back then I wish I knew about @getplume ( who serves Trans folks in Florida) Plume has revolutionized gender affirming hormone therapy. (at Denver, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/lanapatelxoxo/p/CYN8WUAgDG4/?utm_medium=tumblr

Look mom, I starred in a @pantene commercial which landed me an exclusive interview with @people and propelled me across dozens of publications and interviews with international publication @bbc " I'll be home for Christmas, you can plan on me..." Were the words I sang with @transchorusla back in 2019 with no idea that just two years later, I would truly be home for Christmas for the first time in 20 years. I got the call from my artistic director @abdullahrasheen that I was selected to be featured in the Pantene commercial and I was in a state of shock as I was having one of the most challenging years to date and was struggling with depression and high suicidal ideation. Abby told me, " It's your time. The Universe is making a way " and all I could do was hold back tears in my work bathroom while I got the news via cell phone. I felt undeserving and an immense amount of imposter syndrome. Why me? I auditioned with 42 people and I was one of the few selected to be featured. It was an honor but also so surreal. That opportunity changed my life forever. I never saw an indo Caribbean person in traditional Indian clothes on am international commercial. I got to be that person in a saree going home for the holidays in a @proctergamble commercial! A black and indo Caribbean Trans woman wearing a saree in a major commercial that @theellenshow premiered! I still have goosebumps. Representation is so important. I wish I saw images like this as a kid. My life and my family would be so different. 20 years ago was the last time I spent Christmas in NYC, where I was born and raised. I left summer 2002 to move to Florida to be raised by my grandparents and never spent the holidays in NYC until this year. As I reflect on the past two years, I also look back on the last 20 that changed the trajectory of my life and altered the fabric of the person I am today. These past two years have been mentally and emotionally hard as I've been working through trauma, from losing my grandmother at the start of the pandemic to losing 5 family members, including my uncle in Trinidad a month ago to overcoming abusive spaces and faces. #healing #movingforward (at Pantene Pro-V Beautiful Lengths) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYKCq64rGE4/?utm_medium=tumblr

This is the recipe of life Said my mother As she held me in her arms while I wept Think of those flowers you plant In the garden each year They will teach you That people too Must wilt Fall Root Rise In order to bloom @rupikaur The sun and her flowers 🥻 @namaslaycollective 📸 @akashaonabeat 💋 @livetinted #free and #grounded #huestick #rupikaur #rupikaurpoetry #thesunandherflowers #marigolds #namaslay #livetinted #brownskin #brownskingirls #desi #dougla #desifashion #lanapatel (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYIqmj0Aucm/?utm_medium=tumblr

The world Gives you So much pain And here you are Making gold out of it There is nothing purer than that @rupikaur_ #tbt #throwback #throwbackthursday #whitenails #whiteaesthetic #whitesaree #whiteroses #saree #sareelove #sareefashion #indianfashion #indianjewellery #whitehenna #brownskin #brownskingirls #dougla #lanapatel (at Hotel Irvine Jamboree Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/CX2BAPnPU4S/?utm_medium=tumblr

You said the past won't rest Until we jump the fence and leave it behind @arcadefire "Suburban War" White button up Shirt dress from @holichicbymegha by @__megharao 🥼 Lips #perk and #grounded from @livetinted by @deepica Two brands that I align with with incredible founders who are the embodiment of #girlboss they've both inspired me through their journeys. If you haven't checked out their brands please do! These are two #womanownedbusiness #minorityownedbusiness and incredible #desi #businesswoman who have created incredible brands that are forward thinking, sustainable and teach us to love ourselves through culture. 🧡 #transformationtuesday #model #holichicbymegha #livetinted #ootd #fashion #fashionista #boots #brownskin #brownskingirls #blessed #afewofmyfavoritethings #lanapatel (at Temescal Valley, California) https://www.instagram.com/lanapatelxoxo/p/CXwgoczvsxB/?utm_medium=tumblr

I know I'm so indecisive 🤷🏽‍♀️ And I know that you don't like it 🤦🏽‍♀️ And I'd never let my guard down 🙅🏽‍♀️ But you steady tryna wife it (oh no) 🙈 Don't you see that I got baggage 🛄 My heart's way too hard to manage (oh no) I can't give a 🚹 my trust Said you working to change that 😏 But just bare with me ❤️‍🔥 @teyanataylor It's the #softglam for me 💅🏾 @livetinted #perk #huestick on the lips 👄 #moonpalacecancun #moonpalace #teyanataylor #barewithme #livetinted #makeupartist #makeuplooks #makeuplover #makeupmonday #motd #dougla #brownskin #brownskingirls #hotelroom #lanapatel (at Moon Palace The Grand-Cancun) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXdQtPKLKiI/?utm_medium=tumblr

What are you willing to do? tell me what you're willing to do? Kiss it, kiss it better, baby 🌹 @badgalriri vibes #kissitbetter 💋 @fentybeauty #stunna 💄 #rihanna #rihannaanti #islandgirl #caribbean #caribbeangirl #dougla #brownskin #brownskingirls #red #redlips #anti #antialbum #lanapatel (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXYWtZzFoIf/?utm_medium=tumblr

My mother is from yard 🤱🏽🇯🇲🇮🇳(Jamaica) My father is from bush 👨🏾‍🍼🇹🇹🇮🇳 (Trinidad) Wah gwan?! I cooling in my #dougla shirt from @shesmixedllc 💚💛🖤 ❤️🤍🖤 #afewofmyfavoritethings ✨ Dougla people are Caribbean people who are of mixed African and Indian descent. The word Dougla (also Dugla or Dogla) is used throughout the Dutch and English-speaking Caribbean. 🇯🇲🇹🇹🇮🇳 The word Dougla originated from doogala (दुगला), which is a Caribbean Hindustani word that literally means "two"ish and may also mean "many", "much" or "a mix". In the West Indies, the word is used only for Afro-Indo mixed race. The word has its etymological roots in Hindi, where "do" means two and "gala" means "throat". The word might have been used as a way to refer to people who could speak Indian and African languages. In Guyana, Afro-Guyanese and Indo-Guyanese make up half of the population and Douglas number 15% of the country's demographics. Notable dougla - Nicki Minaj ( Happy Birthday Queen) @nickiminaj 👑 #nazar #tikka looking inward on I and I ✊🏾 #love gold and red heart #jhumkas by @funkymaharani ✨ Protecting and preserving my melanin with @livetinted #hueguard and flexing in #true & #grounded #huestick reminded me to always stay true to self and remember my roots which will always keep me grounded no matter how far I go in this world 🧡 #wcw #wce #brownskin #brownskingirls #blessed #jamaican #trinidad #trinigyal #yardie #islandgirl #caribbean #indocaribbean #lanapatel (at Chaguanas, Trinidad and Tobago) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXQP1Y0rV50/?utm_medium=tumblr

Get this Marble Apron for the foodie or gardener in your life from @zameenco, a small business. I love the apron, and it's so functional and comfortable! The design is perfect, and I love the color. This apron is 100% hand-made, from single-origin cotton to the handwoven khadi fabric. And best of all of the materials are sustainably sourced like the natural dyes were made from plant-based organic materials. Get yours today using the code LANASPROMO. You will get free shipping in time for Christmas! Only a limited quantity is available. Order today. #apron #christmas #fartuch #art #celemek #coffee #sewing #apronbarista #bar #restaurant #food #love #fashion #design #leather #cheflife #baking #bartender #kitchen #apronstyle #cooking #chef #handmade #aprons #smallbusiness #shopsmall #homebasedbusiness #supportsmallbusiness #lanapatel (at San Francisco, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXNQ3lTL60f/?utm_medium=tumblr

Today is December 1st, World AIDS Day ❤️ World AIDS Day, designated on 1 December every year since 1988, is an international day dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection and mourning those who have died of the virus. The World Health Organization (WHO) declared December 1 as World AIDS Day in 1988. World AIDS Day brings together people from around the world to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS and demonstrate international solidarity in the face of the pandemic. Since the beginning of the epidemic, 79.3 million [55.9–110 million] people have been infected with the HIV virus and 36.3 million [27.2–47.8 million] people have died of HIV. Globally, 37.7 million [30.2–45.1 million] people were living with HIV at the end of 2020. As a Trans woman of color who has navigated LGBTQ spaces and has also worked at @maccosmetics as an artist World's Aids Day is near and dear to me as I've had the honor of volunteering and participating in yearly volunteer events which have helped raise funds for MAC Viva Glam fund; which goes directly to people living with HIV / AIDS. I also have loved ones who are living with HIV who are near and dear to me. I'm honored that they have trusted me with knowing their status and blessed to have learned a deeper sense of compassion through understanding their journeys. #knowyourstatus get tested and talk to your provider about ways to navigate your options. Your local LGBTQ Center usually offers free testing and you can usually schedule test at community health clinics and spaces like Planned Parenthood. Knowledge is power. Praying for the day that there's a cure but until then let's continue to spread awareness and love ❤️ #jewelry by @reematdesigns_ ✨ #nath @namaslaycollective ✨ Get you @maccosmetics #vivaglam lipstick to support folks living with HIV / AIDS today! 💄 #worldaidsday #red #desi #dougla #indian #indocaribbean #gujrati #raas #indianjewellery #maccosmetics #hivawareness #hivprevention #aidsawareness #lanapatel (at World AIDS Day) https://www.instagram.com/p/CW9-NZuLy7F/?utm_medium=tumblr

#transdayofremembrance 🏳️‍⚧️🙏🏽 Rest in piece to my sisters Nyomi Giselle Taylor - 32 (2/19/19) Amber Starr - 34 (5/23/16) Quaisha- 28 (not pictured 2011 3 beautiful black Trans women who have transcended this plane to a better place. 🤎🤎🤎 I pray for the day Trans folks have access, Healthcare, equity, safety and security to live lives that allow us to pass of old age and not due to complications from silicone injections or from suicide or homicide. 🙏🏽 Praying for black Trans women to on average love beyond 35 years old and to live into old age. 🙏🏽 I do what I do to push the needle and challenge the narrative of "normal" presentation for trans women of color in the pursuit of happiness. 🙇🏽‍♀️ This is for my angels 👼🏾 #tdor #trans #transgender #transgirl #transwoman #blacktranswomen #protecttranslives #blacktranslivesmatter #lanapatel (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWh8zENL_Z0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Happy Trans Week Of Awareness! 🏳️‍⚧️ Join @ferozasyedatl @parivarbayarea @pkj5 @rjkrao and Cherylalachavez in an important conversation about transgender awareness with a South Asian perspective. Moderated by @anjalirimi in partnership with @google Be sure to check @parivarbayarea bio for registration link 🏳️‍⚧️ Virtual on Google meet 🏳️‍⚧️ #trans #transgender #transisbeautiful #tgnci #southasian #transawarenessweek #transawareness #transpride #transgenderpride #diaspora #google #lanapatel (at Google, Silicon Valley) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWbvjdtPGzT/?utm_medium=tumblr

Waiting got Diwali like 🪔🕯️✨💫🌟 Happy #dhanteras everyone 🙏🏽 #photography by @irisdelany 💖 #payal #anklet by @kaebykarrueche from @karrueche #nath by @namaslaycollective by @akashaonabeat #diwali #diwali2021 #diwalivibes #dhanteraswishes #dhanteras2021 #lanapatel (at Denver, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVzMduVrZTm/?utm_medium=tumblr