This is My life

I know this post is too long. I’m writing it anyway. This post is me dealing with burnout in my 30s. One of the reasons my blog posts become so long, bloated, and unreadable is my inability to focus. After years of digital content creation, the fear should have numbed and faded by now. That monster is still there. I’d say I’m fighting imposter syndrome, but don’t you have to be successful for…

Life has been chaotic. Moving countries and shifting jobs in one quarter has left me feeling directionless in life. Since I’ve been in survival mode for the past 3 years, I didn’t have the luxury of taking things slowly—but now, it’s time to find my way back. One nice aspect of my current position is that it offers those all-important insurance benefits, great hours, and awesome pay. Now,…

Taking My Foot Off the Gas Last week one of the only things on my mind was simple: “I’m exhausted.” Marco’s Brain How am I this tired? The thought swirled around in my head like tea leaves after a slow, methodical stir. It wasn’t exercise — my last gym visit was two weeks ago. Despite doing less, my body felt worse. Sluggish. My neurons felt like burnt-out spark plugs. The connections were…

I find myself with more time for writing again. Not in the way I imagined years ago when I first started this blog, but once again the figurative pen has hit the paper in my mind. At 84 WPM, my typing speed sits in the top percentile, even without formal training. Unless you count all the rage-typing in League of Legends during my college days. Side tangent aside, even at that output, my hands…

Sharp Start I started off the day sharp—quite literally. Living in Japan for about eight years now, it’s surprising how much you continually learn. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know Albert Einstein After having lived thirty years, I’m starting to feel like I really don’t know anything. Still, I try my best to stay open-minded and willing to learn. As a tour guide,…

Late Start After a train delay, I realized I’d be arriving at work nearly an hour behind schedule. I agreed to make up that time at the end of the day, which meant getting home much later than usual. Honestly, I didn’t mind the staggered start. As much as I enjoy the company of my coworkers, I sometimes feel distracted by everything happening around me. Being painfully self-aware has its…

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” Bill Gates When Bill Gates talks about choosing a lazy person to do a job, he’s not referring to an irresponsible person not willing to do any work. Instead, there’s a special level of laziness where a person assigned a task is willing to find a more efficient way of doing complex or repetitive…

This morning, I woke up on instinct. Looking down at the clock, panic surged through me—I had overslept by an hour. But instead of spiraling, I took a deep breath and tried to think clearly. The guests were headed to Hakone today, and thankfully, the route passed right by my apartment. After getting the driver’s information, I was relieved to see it was someone I had worked with before. I sent…

Expectations Vs Reality Last night I fell asleep fully intending to wake up early, motivated, and ready to make the most of my day off. This morning, I hit snooze. Again. Yesterday, I received some feedback from a recent tour. Sometimes it’s nice to see what guests write. Other times, it feels unfair. Living life as a customer service tour guide—where KPIs seem largely subjective—feels like…

Laidback Log April 15th, 2025 It’s been over two months since my last post—at least, that’s what it feels like. The hardest part about building a habit is making it stick. As tedious as the process can be, I believe it’s essential if I want to guide my life in a happier direction. In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explores how both small and large routines shape our lives, often more than we…

This might be one of my more imaginative titles,b ut the truth about tour guiding is that I don’t get much regular sleep. This is intensified on these more vigorous and involved group tours. I’ve written plenty about the strain and stress involved with these tours. There’s always is plenty of work going on behind the scenes. Some of this emotional stress and damage is self-inflicted. I do a lot…

Laidback Log: April 13, 2025 Two things you can control in life are attitude and effort. I forgot that. It’s easy to forget about a lot of things in life until something reminds you about it. 0600 A Step Away From Existence I woke up with the guilt of feeling like I had wasted the night before. The feeling of not walking toward or building any skills that might lead to a better life ate away…