"Beautiful."

Hello my lovelies! 

Cassian claimed the spot beside Elain, who clenched her fork as if she might wield it against him, and Rhys slid into the seat beside me, Azriel on his other side. A faint smile bloomed upon Azriel’s mouth as he noticed Elain’s fingers white-knuckled on that fork, but he kept silent…

Just as with Elain, I can’t separate the moment I fell in love with Azriel from her - but of course my Elriel heart biases me and has re-contextualized all their moments together and alone. In this scene, we get to see the different energies of the three brothers as perceived by Feyre and her observations of her human sisters reactions. Azriel’s quiet nature really comes through here, and the way he notices Elain and smiles raised so many questions for me. 

What, or who, was he thinking of? Why was he so amused? What was his opinion of Elain? Is it significant that he noticed such a detail? 

I really enjoy how much of a role hands play between these two. And, now that I think of it, the moment I fell in love with Elain (art here) was also when she noticed his hand. Isn’t that kind of poetic? 

I hope all is well. I just wanted to say your art and your posts are a real joy to read and look at✨

I was wondering how you came up with the tattoo design for Azriel?

Anyway, have an amazing day😉

Hi anon (who is probably someone I know and love <3)!!

Thank you so much ;u;!! I’ll never get over how people are looking at my work and liking it. Thank you for being part of such a supportive community that pushes me to grow and learn not only how to be a better artist but also human being!

Hmmm, at the base of the idea for Azriel’s tattoos is the way they’re supposed to tell a story. If I remember correctly, Illyrians receive the tattoos when they become warriors and the markings tell of their triumphs and tribulations. When i was coming up with the design, I looked into runes and ancient markings to get a sense of how to build a narrative in such a way (without culturally appropriating, of course). 

I’m quite happy with what I’ve landed on but there is still so much room for adjustment. But to be honest, drawing the tattoos can sometimes be a real pain 😅. Countless times I’ve come to what I think is the end of a drawing and realize I’ve forgotten the bat boys’ tattoos, or Azriel’s scars, or even their wings. 

My favourite friendship for Azriel would have to be between him and Nesta. Their bond was unexpected for me and I loved it! The way they understand each other, the banter, the empathy - all so amazing. I'm sure this relationship will play a large role in the next books as well which has me really excited!

For any of you who use Instagram, you can find me there under @ladylochan.art

"It doesn't matter what I want."

It never has.

When I think of Azriel and those words, I think of how deeply reinforced they are. For years it never mattered what he wanted, trapped and abused. And even when he was freed it was only for his abilities and how they could be trained and used by others.

For someone who had never had his wants acknowledged, and was likely punished for voicing them if he ever did, it makes so much sense that he represses himself. Keeps silent not only because it's comfortable but because if he never gives voice to his wants, he won't need to relive them being denied or disregarded. Nevermind the fact that he assigns so little value to himself and his desires in the first place.

I hope you find someone who can hear you even if you don't speak, Azriel. Someone who sees you and helps you realize that it does matter what you want and it always will.