Many people forget when writing bdsm that the dom also wants to get a good grade in dom. And is trying so hard and is often nervous about it.
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@ladykafterdark
Many people forget when writing bdsm that the dom also wants to get a good grade in dom. And is trying so hard and is often nervous about it.

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From what I can tell this is the standard level of sexual dimorphism for booktok romance couples
Most interesting thing about this post is people tagging it as like ‘straight people version of yaoi size dynamics’ like. Let’s all stop and think for a second where the “penetrative sexual partner is large, dominant, and masculine; the penetrated sexual partner is small, submissive, and feminine” thing (and the presumption of these roles being a necessity and immutable) might also come from.
And now it's "more tall bottoms!" "let the tiny girl PEG the man" let us instead continue this thought exercise and examine why we presume that a sexual relationship must be defined around a penetrator/penetrated dynamic, or that there must by necessity be "A top" or "A bottom" and that these roles cannot be fluid, or that penetrative sex is a necessity in a relationship to begin with, or that penetration is an act of dominance and humiliation and by extension it's a Subversive Feminist Win for the Bigger and/or Masculine party to receive, or that these misogynistic-homophobic ideals can be meaningfully addressed by simply Reversing the dynamic. My final message........goodbye..........
you cant call it that
her cookie make me pitch a tent because shes fat & weird and now I will expire in 1-3 days
...you're supposed to see a doctor after after four hours, not three days.
>Use PENIS on WIFE
"It's locked."
>Examine WIFE
"She's laying there so beautifully..."
>Examine WIFE LOCK
"Looks like she's wearing some kind of CHASTITY CAGE. I'll need to find the key."
>Check KEYRING
Keyring: House key, bird cage key, garage key, basement key
>Ask WIFE
"What's up, darling? Don't you want to sex me?"
>CHASTITY KEY
"Oh, that... I think I saw it in the ATTIC. Better hurry before I'm out of the mood."
>Open ATTIC DOOR
"That door is locked."
>Examine ATTIC DOOR
"The entrance to my attic. I locked it up since the knob is faulty and the door kept opening by itself."
You hear a faint noise beyond the door.
>Examine NOISE
"Hm. Sounds like something is scratching around in there. Maybe a raccoon got inside somehow?"
>Search
Where do you want to search?
>ATTIC DOOR
"I think I left the key... Aha! Right above the doorframe."
ATTIC KEY added to you INVENTORY.
>Examine ATTIC KEY
"There is no ATTIC KEY here..."
>Check ATTIC KEY
"I don't have an ATTIC KEY on me." (You can see what kind of KEYS you have by checking your KEY RING.)
>Use ATTIC KEY on ATTIC DOOR
"There. Open."
An ENTITY stares at you.
>Examine ENTITY
"Woah... That thing's freaky. Is it dangerous?"
The ENTITY appears to be clutching a SMALL KEY.
>Examine SMALL KEY
"That's the key to my wife's CHASTITY CAGE."

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"who do you self insert as when you read?"
This is me when I read:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary: Rus is starving.
CW: Rough sex, masochism, knotting, marking, dirty talk, overstimulation, dom drop (unresolved), angsty aftercare.
This chapter takes place during Ch. 19 of the the mainline Atypical series. It may not make sense without reading that arc.
been turning the idea around in my head that there is something in fandom that equates being the sub/bottom with being taken care of and dom/top as the caretaking role and that informing how characters are assigned one or the other - so that the character a person wants cared for ends up the sub/bottom to the character who is supposed to do the caring. it's an emotional interpretation of a physical dynamic and I think it contributes some to the...mmm. moderate lack of interest in dom or top interiority that I've noticed is somewhat recurrent across fandoms.
it is a perception that dictates that sex is about not just the sub/bottom's physical needs (which I think is also somewhat true in fandom) but about the sub/bottom's emotional needs, and is at least less interested in the dom/top's physical or emotional needs. and this is not to say that the dom/top's physical/emotional needs do not align with the sub's - hopefully they do! - just that in general fanfiction as a category is not approaching those two halves with the same interest or emphasis.
this pops up also, I would say, in the way that most fic I read does not dig into the desires of doms in the same way it digs into the desires of subs, which I would argue is linked back to the reluctance to acknowledge the desire to dominate as legitimate in the same way as the desire to submit.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to write this way or to be invested in this construction of a dynamic in the particular but I do think it's a problem writ large with implications outside the narrow realm of fandom (under discussion here because that's where I've experienced this most).
anyway. taps the "doms have feelings too" sign again
Doesn’t look like anyone’s tagged @pangur-and-grim yet…Belphie Behavior

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Absolutely cackling over the banjo subreddit
The fact I had no fucking clue which euphemisms were about sex and which ones were about playing banjo
@thatbanjobusiness
If you have ever known anyone with a kink for being hit, or beat up, or raped and you're okay with them, you also gotta be okay with the people who's kink it is to do the hitting, the beating, or the raping. At the end of the day, we're adults playing pretend, and that's it.
With every single sub i have the first thing we ever do is establish the safe word (stoplight system), and the non-verbal safe word in case they can't talk for any reason. If I can't tell where the sub is at, I will ask them point blank what is their color, and if they can't give a response, we stop. The goal is to make the other person feel good, including pain, and the most important part us knowing your subs limits and LISTENING to them. I will *never* hurt a sub in a way that they have not explicitly expresssed interest in.
Makes sense to me. The “getting hit” kink requires a “hitting” kink. It’s like Transformers. Megatron can’t exist without Optimus Prime.
yes Steve, its exactly like Megatron and Optimus Prime from Transformers
dear smut writers,
to lave means to wash/bathe/lap at, and it's in basically every sex scene ever
a lathe is a machine that smoothes a spinning piece of wood or metal by cutting thin layers off it, and it's also in an unfortunate number of sex scenes
so when you say things like this:
I am imagining things like this:
knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.
and now all these other knights are coming around like "please let me serve you" and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade
[image description: screenshot of tags reading #this is dming /end description]
[THIS USER UNDERSTANDS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOM/SUB AND TOP/BOTTOM]

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(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.
collection of posts for a very specific dynamic