ad astra per aspera

Just a few posts I collected that are nice examples of how Tony Stark is not just some self-centered jerk.

I don't talk much about my parents with my friends either but if and God forbid they should die and I get a nervous breakdown and lock myself in my room for weeks and my face is red and wet from my tears, would my friend not understand it either? Would she misunderstand the natural reaction of a human individual to a traumatic loss? Would she seriously question human psychology? And if after weeks/months/years I was asked about my parents' death and I broke into tears again because I loved them so much and the wound was torn open again, would she also not understand this?

My reaction would be absolutely legitimate, why shouldn't it be Tony's?

Her statement was disgusting.

NGC 7293, better known as the Helix Nebula by ESA, NASA, ESO

THIS DAY in Nightwish history

Released April 19, 2004 ‘Nemo’ is the first single from Nightwish fifth studio album ‘Once’.

Beyond the Battle: Titan - Avengers infinity war - Itunes extra 

I’ve been thinking a lot about Tony’s characteristics and how he shows grief/emotional distress, and I haven’t seen anyone else mention it on here so far, but I just think it’s really important and worth mentioning.

One of the best examples of this is what happens to Pepper in IM3. We first watch Tony find out that she’s being experimented on by the Mandarin - the love of his life is in extreme pain - and his reaction? 

He flinches. Like full-on grimaces and shuts his eyes and turns away. It’s not exactly the reaction you’d expect. There’s no shouting or hurling of insults. His pain manifests as denial, like he’s trying to wish it away. I have never witnessed a character embody the term “ to bottle up your emotions" so thoroughly before.  

Exhibit b. Pepper falls into the fire shortly afterwards. Tony is watching the love of his life crash to her supposed doom, and…what does he do? He stares in horror, (quiet, gut-wrenching horror) then turns his head and closes his eyes. 

It’s the same deal as exhibit A! His reaction to Pepper’s supposed death is so knee-jerk and vulnerable, but it is also entirely silent. 

Think about that. Like, think really hard about that. How many characters have you witnessed portray loss like this? Because I can’t think of a single one. 

Not many actors are talented enough to show that level of heartache and sorrow without any dialogue as well as RDJ can. 

Alright, last but not least:

Exhibit c. When Rhodey falling to the ground in CACW. 

This one is not quite the same as the other two. After Rhodes crashes, Tony sits there with him, obviously internalizing his grief and panic, breathing heavy, staring around as though he’s confused or dumbstruck that this could’ve happened - how did he let this happen?? 

The anger on his face is apparent. Anger with Cap, maybe even with Vision - almost certainly anger at himself. 

It’s a perfectly reasonable time for him to shout and hurl insults, but he is, once more, silent.

I’m probably missing some examples. 

My long-winded point is: 

When I was watching Avengers: IW for the first time, I remember I felt sort of…underwhelmed by the ending. Granted, I hadn’t watched any Marvel movies except Black Panther in a very long time, so I was super out of touch, but when Peter was turning to ash, I remember thinking that something was missing, and I remember feeling Tony’s reaction to Peter’s “death” was almost a let-down. 

Where was the theatrics? Where was the emotion? The crying and the shouting? 

But then I re-watched all the movies, and I saw how Tony grieves and experiences loss. His silence isn’t a lack of emotion. It’s just the way he is. I think traditionally we see grief and loss portrayed on the big screen in very loud, agonized, crying scenes. Heartfelt screaming, painful sobs. 

But Tony doesn’t do any of that - and it’s such a profound layer to his character, one that had to be intentional and thought-out. 

So when Peter has turned to ash and Tony just sits there quietly, it’s so reminiscent of how he acted when Pepper “died”. 

Even before that, when Tony tells Peter “you’re okay”, we got to see that same instinctive knee-jerk sense of denial once more. 

Like he wants to just will Peter’s impending doom away. 

I don’t blame him for trying. 

Behind the scenes of Avengers infinity war - Tony Stark