So I don’t really make a lot of personal posts and that’s not really gonna change any time soon, but I just wanted to put some stuff down just so it’s not just in my head.
For the first time, maybe really in my life, I’m happy. It’s not all the time, and I know there’s still gonna be rough days, but I don’t feel like I always used to.
For context the end of the month is my one year anniversary on HRT. It’s amazing how much has changed over the last year even without being completely out everywhere. I finally have days where I can see myself clearly in the mirror. I spent years thinking I couldn’t do this because of where I live, or what other people would think, until I finally realized that I would always be able to find reasons to put it off even though it turned out to be one of the best choices of my life.
I’ve still got a long way ahead, I just want to say don’t let other people live your life for you and it’s never too late to be yourself. I spent too long thinking “this is as good as it gets” and I was so wrong.
To anybody who feels stuck where they are I see you and I love you. There are shitty people in the world but there are also amazing people who will love you and be happy for you.
I don’t really expect this post to get anywhere, I really just wanted to make it so that it’s out in the world somewhere. Be kind to each other and to the handful of people who read this, thank you for listening.
So I’ve been meaning to make an update to this post and just haven’t been getting to it but here we go!
I am over two years on hrt now and it’s still the best choice I ever made. I feel so much more in touch with myself. I have a court date in one week to get my name changed! I’ve become much more outgoing, making amazing new friends and realizing that I don’t have to take people’s shit.
I started dating again and am now in a relationship with two of the most wonderful women for over a year! We’re planning on moving to a less conservative area very soon.
I finally feel like I’m allowed to just be happy without feeling like the good things in my life are just brief flashes before my life falls apart again. I’m constantly having moments now where I want to cry because I’m just so happy with my life.
I know things still suck. That terrifying things are still happening everywhere. But that’s why I refuse to be anything other than myself now. Don’t let them scare you back into the closet. Let everyone see you for who you are. That’s how you find your people. Tell your friends you love them. Compliment strangers.
Take a chance. It’s worth it. 🖤
