A Denial in Boston

ok i'm still thinking about the branding thing. au where your soulmate leaves a brand on you in some way when you touch them - maybe their ring leaves a mark when you shake hands, or you both come away with marks from brushing arms on the subway - and they burn hot, just for a moment, just enough to make you notice. and shane and ilya both think they're fine because nothing happened when they met. they shook hands, and slammed each other into the boards, and kissed and touched and fucked and nothing. and it's perfect. until it isn't. until they both want more and want to stop wanting more but can't bring themselves to break it off despite the fact that they're both sure that any day now the other one will meet their soulmate. and it'll all be over. and then the tuna meltdown happens and then rose happens and ilya feels sick. constantly, every day, desperately wishing he'd been able to leave a mark on shane, that shane had left his mark on him. wishing even more desperately that he didn't want that. he's so sure that she's left her mark on shane that he almost doesn't go to tampa. almost comes up with some bullshit excuse. but he goes and shane walks into that bar looking so beautiful, his eyes and his smile and his freckles. and he's preparing to have his fears confirmed, but then shane says they weren't compatible. and he thinks he knows what it means and there's hope stirring in his belly, and when he finds shane on the beach and he asks for ilya's room number the hope crawls up his throat. but their thumbs brush and still nothing. no heat, no marks. and then up in that room, shane tells him he's gay, and ilya tells shane about his father, and shane kisses him and rocks him and just holds him. and when they finally fuck again it's slower and more reverent than ever before, and he flips shane on his belly and grinds into him slow and deep, leans down to whisper russian in his ear, because shane seems to like that, and his necklace lands on shane's shoulder. and it doesn't quite light up, not exactly. but ilya can see it. see when it goes hot and hear when shane cries out and comes, clenching around ilya and pulling him over the edge with him, and then ilya looks at the mark, traces it, kisses it, and shane whispers was that -?, and ilya doesn't really know what to say. yes doesn't seem like enough. nothing he could say does. he just lays his head on shane and nods. and feels tears prickling his eyes again. and shane pushes him off and goes to the bathroom to look and ilya's stomach drops again. he's sure shane is going to come back and tell ilya they can't. that he doesn't want him. that it must just be one sided. but instead he comes back and lays down and wraps himself around ilya, burying his face in his chest, and then ilya feels it - white hot, for just a moment. and shane sits up and they both look down and see a perfect imprint of shane's freckles right over ilya's heart.

I would absolutely put money on Manic Spaghetti. That horse is going places.

This proving our point that the little ‘heyyyy’ in the hospital was Shane trying to comfort Ilya 😭

shane is so obsessed with scott hunter because everyone knows autistic people love dinosaurs

the world is so inhospitable to quiet girls

I think I love this headcanon because Shane is actually pretty reticent with straight up compliments, unintentionally. Obviously, it's a product of him Repressing™ and downplaying just how much Ilya means to him during their situationship era, but then that just accidentally sticks. So when Shane looks at Ilya one day while he's sprawled out on the couch in that black tank that makes his arms look insane and his hair is just starting to dry from the shower, he just stops in his tracks and stares. And eventually Ilya notices and glances up like What? And Shane just shakes his head and goes "Nothing, nothing it's just... You're really handsome." And it feels a little silly to say it that bluntly, but it's the truth. And suddenly Ilya gets all pink cheeked and wide eyed and now it's Shane's turn to go "What?" And Ilya shrugs, playing at noncommittal because "You have not said this before, really." And Shane stares at him blankly because "Surely I have." And Ilya kind of shrugs again but - but no, no surely not because - "I think it all the time. It was the first thing I thought of when I saw you in person." And now Shane is genuinely flabbergasted, searching back in his memory because surely this has come up before, surely Shane let it slip at least once even when he was desperate not to let on just how much of an effect Ilya had on him. And when Shane twigs that no, actually, he's somehow kept a lid on just how blisteringly attractive he finds his boyfriend, suddenly all bets are off. He is blurting out every compliment that crosses his mind. He becomes the compliment MACHINE. And it always leaves Ilya a little flustered and squirmy and quietly delighted.