i got sexually assaulted 4 times in the last two years by 4 different people????? i underwent so many changes and trauma all at once that i split and got a whole new headmate out of it. cool i guess. i cannot begin to untangle just how much i feel changed as a person. so much about my everyday life has changed. i am waiting patiently for things to turn around and be better because im truly DONE with things sucking this badly. theres been a whole lot ive learned about myself and what i want out of life, and ive become a much more bold person, but at what cost.

oh yeah i also got in my first bar fight defending a cis guy who's now my situationship. and broke up with my other situationship bc he hid information about the guy who raped me. its funny; i live a life almost completely devoid of anything ever because i spend 99.9999% of my life in my room (and increasingly more because my disabilities are getting BAAAAAAAAAAADDDDD i actually cant stand up for more than two minutes anymore ;-;)

im still stuck in my shit living situation but that's changing soon when my bestie movies in. also still mourning my romantic breakup. some stuff involved with irls i dont wanna talk about who are on tumblr idk its traumatizing and i dont wanna get into it. they know who they are and they know what they've done 🤷, the tldr is ive been dealing with neglect/abuse the past two years and its seriously worn me down. I'm much better off now but jfc its going to haunt me for a while and im not completely out of the shit yet.

in good news i do have a new set of local friends who i didnt realize id value nearly as much as i do but man i feel like id be dead without them these past two years... they were the only way i was able to feel normal after i got assaulted.

speaking of getting assaulted has everyone just lost their minds and forgotten the basics of consent, and how you shouldnt attempt to seduce an inebriated or non-responsive person????? genuinely i got trust issues now because i ran into this issue so many times. itll be from otherwise completely nice and upstanding people.

i was gonna debut as a drag queen but then literally everything went to shit all at once. sigh. sigh. oh yeah i also got a wolf cut. and my second puberty finally kicked in after being on t for more than 7 years. guess everyone moves at a different pace but the fact that i only started getting facial hair and broader shoulders now is crazy. i dont feel any more masculine i just had to basically exchange my entire closet because NOTHING FITS ANYMORE and im now xxl/xxxl bc of the frame changes so that means no more cool alt clothes from china for me anymore -_-.

also ocd is like. a real thing.

if you dont have ocd then you dont experience "moral ocd" or whatever tf, which would just be Pure-O ocd bc this isnt a real term. yall need to come up with better terms for social phenomenons outside of pasting the word "ocd" onto something else. its ableist as hell.

how are you going to act all anti-psychiatry and shit when you are willing to ascribe an entire group of diverse people youve never met with a label that doesn't even fit them and contains a charged term; a commonly misdiagnosed and misunderstood disorder that tears children from their families and convinces human beings to end their own lives?

if you dont have ocd then you dont experience "moral ocd" or whatever tf today's buzzword is. you were 14 and you wanted to fit in with your tumblr friends and not rock the boat and you had anxiety. thats FINE.

this is the woke version of saying "omg people who clean so much and are tidy have ocd" SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP BIIIIIIIIITCH

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Post Date: March 11, 2025

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