I hate working night shift retail cause whenever the Are You Stealin machine starts beepin for no reason, my first thought is always immediately ‘that’s a little chef boyaredi can rolling off to a good home’

who rebloged this

vines are literally better than 77% of hollywood movies

Cinematic magic

you have no idea how fast i pressed that reblog button

I LAUGH SO HARD AT THIS EVERY TIME

god making snails: alright now i need a lil goopman

god makin slugs: haha okay one more but this time naked

tourist in a horror movie: wow i better visit this ancient temple and just fuck around real stupid

This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way

“I’m getting back in line.”

BLESS ME PATRICK

PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU

@billshitposts

*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money

Can i just *Gets in line*…there

Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔

Honestly I know it’s kinda silly…but weirdly… It does seem to work

Im getting in line! 

PUT ME IN LINE

Lmfao the pause

where’s the lie

THEY CAME THAT WAY!!

I’m stupid dead😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I literally cry watching this video because its so fucking funny

When someone tells you that ed sheeran can’t sing. Show them this

The real Tide Pod Challenge is actually doing a load of laundry while suffering from crippling depression.

Me

I was in a bible study we went over this part and I just sat there like “wait what?!?”

Yup! This is so real!

So what you’re saying is the original sin was man not fucking protecting his wife lmao

Adam was a fuck boy?

Omfg! I’ve had this argument so many times!

FUCK

All men Ain’t shit for the bible told me so.

Please take note of all your (CA) and (NY) and (CT) here. You’re not better. Where you live is not better or more tolerant or more free. It’s all corrupted.

whelp, I can now turn off the internet, I have seen everything

He also wore sweaters because of tattoos I believe he got in the Navy.

All this time i thought he was the image of suburbia. Turns out he’s more street than i am

Conclusion: human evolution has always depended in part upon some unassuming father’s ability to literally backflip his child out of the jaws of death.