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@kysterr

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Do any other american high schoolers have intense survivorβs guilt and trauma with school shootings even though they werenβt at your school?
Like. A laser tag place opened geared towards teenagers and it got no business, we tried to enjoy it but when someone pointed a laser machine gun at me and I instinctively dropped behind the nearest wall and reached to turn off my phone I cried, I wasnβt the only one. The announcements system turns on at an unexpected time and everyone holds their breath until they say something besides βlocks, lights, out of sight,β nobody even jokingly pops chip bags anymore, a door slammed really loud during a class change and everyone dropped and ran. Everyone cries during drills, even the toughest ranch kids. Every drill comes with a full day of teachers crying and telling us that they love us all so much and will die for us, and every kid in every class looking around wondering who would I die for? Who would die for me? You walk to the bathroom and wonder every second if it happens right now, where will I go? You test supply closet doors to see which ones are unlocked, you memorize which furniture in the teachersβ lounge your English teacher says is light enough to barricade a door with. The fire alarm goes off and nobody moves, instead you wait for gunshotsβit a trap? You stand with a group of freshmen and realize that youβre the oldest, you know youβll have to die for them. You forget your ID tag and worry that now the police wonβt be able to tell your parents if youβre safe, or not safe. Your stats teacher has a baseball bat by the door, your math teacher keeps a stapler under each desk to throw, your drama teacher asks who will be willing to stand by the non-locking door with the Shakespearean swords. Your yearbook teacher tells you donβt worry about breaking a camera because you heard about the kids who died holding them. You donβt use the bathroom during classes because you donβt want to be the only target to shoot at. You keep your phone on silent 24/7 because you worry the one time you forget will be when you get your whole US History class killed. You have a snap saved with your class schedule and school and full name to send in an instant to your internet friends so they know if you were on that wing, you have a note saved with the things you want your mom to know and the things youβre sorry for. At the age of 12 I was told I needed to know who I would die for and that it was okay if it was nobody, that was my decision to make. School shootings control us more than adults and non-Americans could possibly imagine and nobody moves to change anything unless weβre actively screaming for it. Have you considered weβre too scared?
The absolute fuck. The fuck did I just read. This sounds like dystopian fiction. The fucking fuck.
It isnβt. This is 100% the reality of all American children - not the ones that live in bad neighborhoods, not the ones that make bad choices, ALL OF THEM.
Welcome to America.
This reminds me of a discussion we had in one of my classes the other day-
My professor was describing how everyone from her generation had the same nightmare of a nuke going off. In they dream they all saw the same mushroom cloud and everything. She said that she didnβt think my generation had a dream like that; one that everyone shared and had
For a while none of us could disagree with her. Until this popped up. I raised my hand and mentioned that everyone I knew had an active shooter dream at one point or another. And Every. Single. Person. Nodded. All of us had that dream. All of us.
Pretty telling, huh?
The mere notion that highschool children might have survivorβs guilt is sickening

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Youβre not too sensitive. youβre not overreacting. if it hurts you, it hurts you
This is a very good and validating attitude to have, but also donβt stop there. Its good to try and really pinpoint what about something upsets you, or why it upsets you, because you usually realize the thing youβre actually upset about is a lot less obvious and a lot more complicated. I always like to say theres no such thing as an over reaction, youβre just reacting to more things than you realize.
ENDLESS LIST OF FAVORITESΒ
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) dir. Henry Selick Ο ββTwas a long time ago, longer now than it seems in a place perhaps youβve seen in your dreams. For the story youβre about to be told began with the holiday worlds of auld. Now youβve probably wondered where holidays come from. If you havenβt, Iβd say itβs time you begun.β
SourceΒ
These dudes are fucking legit. Β They donβt just show up one day in court, either, they actually make friends with the kids and let them know they have a support system and that there are people in the world who care about them and will always have their back. Β And less important, but also cool, is that the few times a couple of them have come into my cafe, theyβve been super friendly and polite and when I told one of the guys that I noticed his Bikers Against Child Abuse patch and wanted him to know how awesome I thought he was because of it, he got kind of shy and blushed and said, βThe kids are the awesome ones, we just let them know theyβre allowed to be brave.β
The source is long, but so, so good. These men and women are available in 36 states, 24 hours a day to stand guard at home, in court, at school, even if the child has a nightmare. Many of them are survivors of childhood abuse as well, and know what itβs like to feel scared and alone.
In court that day, the judge asked the boy, βAre you afraid?β No, the boy said.
Pipes says the judge seemed surprised, and asked, βWhy not?β
The boy glanced at Pipes and the other bikers sitting in the front row, two more standing on each side of the courtroom door, and told the judge, βBecause my friends are scarier than he is.β
Actual tears.. hnngh
Show me more of people like this, world. I give up on humans too easily.
where do i sign up for this,i want to be in this gang
This is fucking amazing. It may be out of character for me to say this but rock on
Bikers Against Child Abuse was founded in 1995 by a Native American child psychologist whose ride name is Chief, when he came across a young boy who had been subjected to extreme abuse and was too afraid to leave his house. He called the boy to reach out to him, but the only thing that seemed to interest the child was Chiefβs bike. Soon, some 20 bikers went to the boyβs neighborhood and were able to draw him out of his house for the first time in weeks.
Chiefβs thesis was that a child who has been abused by an adult can benefit psychologically from the presence of even more intimidating adults that they know are on their side. βWhen we tell a child they donβt have to be afraid, they believe us,β Arizona biker Pipes told azcentral.com. βWhen we tell them we will be there for them, they believe us.β ( Article)
More about BACA, from their site
My parents are a part of this organization and they are metal af
They go on runs to protect the child if they feel even the slightest threatened no matter where. If the child needs them to go on vacation with them, they do. Bikers come from across the nation to watch over and take shifts for these kids. And the best part is once youβre adopted into this family as a BACA kid, youβre always one. Even when youβre 40 and the perp gets released from jail, theyβll come meet with you and find your best options for avoiding the person and maintaining the life youβve built for yourself. Once a BACA child, always a BACA child. In Florida, thereβs 100% rate for identifying the perp based on the childβs testimony. Why? Because BACA stands with the child and supports the child so they feel comfortable enough to point out their attacker.
Whatβs better than a badass biker gang being on your side???
NATIVE AMERICAN CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST WHO IS A BIKER AND NAMED HIMSELF CHIEF HELL YES IβM HERE FOR THAT AND BIKERS BEING BAD ASS TO PROTECT KIDS. HELL YEAH.
itβs back! I will always reblog BACA
Damn good people.
I know they wouldnβt consider themselves such, but these people are freaking heroes and the world is a better place because of them.Β
Hey folks, it talks about this in the article but its not mentioned in this post, BACA is a 501 Β© (3) charity that depends in part on donations to help pay for stuff like gas for their bikes. If you want to help, consider donating.Β
@copperbadge You like posting about heroes, Sam. Seems like this would be up your alley.
I love these folks! Iβve reblogged them before but itβs wonderful to see the donation information has been added.Β
Always reblog. Keep doing what youβre doing y'all.
Guys? This post changed my life. I saw this post. Forever ago. And thought it was only in americaβ¦ and wished desperately that they could help me. But then I saw it again, during a bad episode, and checked their site. They arenβt just in the USA
Theyβre in Canada as well and probably other countries. I met and talked with a native guy who runs the place near me. His name is Shaman. I got in, and Iβm considered a BACA child now. Despite being 17, turning 18 when I talked to them. They spent time with me when my abuser was over, they gave me therapy resources. They give you something called aΒ βlevel 1β² where they go to your house with as many bikers as they can, i shit you not a solid 20-40 bikers came from even out of province, and met me. I got to choose my biker name and I got a vest with patches on it and my name on it. They all hugged a Teddybear before giving it to me, and told me if I ever felt the BACA bear was running out of love, to give them a call and theyβd refill it for me, and then I got a ride on one of their bikes. Just a day or so ago I went to an annual party with them and they we ate food one of them cooked and had a lot of laughs.Β
Iβve never felt as loved as I did being a part of the BACA family. They also gave me dog tags with the names, and phone numbers of my 2 workers.Β So I can call them whenever I feel scared.Β
BACA is an absolutely wonderful group that will do everything in itβs power to help any child whos been abused.Β
And it doesnβt end when youβre 18 either. As long as you get in contact/get your level 1 before youβre 18? youβre ALWAYS a BACA kid. Iβm 18 now and they still invite me to parties, ask me if Iβm okay, and are there for me. Theyβre still trying to find me resources for therapy.Β
BACA has changed my fucking life.Β
I hope you all can read this, and reblog it knowing from someone who fucking been with them, that they are absolutely amazing.Β
Scooby-Doo! and the Witchβs Ghost (1999)

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Temple Wood Prehistoric Stone Circle and Cairn 2, Kilmartin Glen, Argyll, 28.9.19.
ccyle

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Marilyn Monroe photographed by Cecil Beaton, 1956.