Dioptre Hertz

I was duelling this girl but I misread the vibe so when we got into a bind and got really close to each other I didn't kiss her I just hit her in the face with my pommel and now she's crying and she's got a nosebleed

I'm trying to comfort her and tell her it's gonna be okay but her nose is definitely broken 😬

people are always so surprised when i tell them my plumage changing from vibrant hues to grayish browns wasn't done surgically. cis people need to get more educated on the effects of HRT immediately

Dude you have to listen to this DnD podcast the party has an edgy mean lesbian AND a melodramatic twink AND a muscle mommy AND a joke character. And get this: it's not good.

aborted abortion doctor: yea thats what i woulda did

do i have to, miss ashen-and-friends?

*takes a drag of a candy cigarette* I never thought I would make it to this many

A common theme in science fiction is that if you're in space, don't trust a corporation. And Earth is in space

i dont even want to fight in evil kingdom anymore but good kingdom wotn take me on account of my evil red sword and my skull pauldrons, and my jet black spiky armor and on account of the fact i killed 200 pixies just for fun and also they have regulations on how spiky your armor can be and the fact i killed 400 pixies

Stop clicking on my thighs. Bro my cum meter isn't moving. You need to click elsewhere.

ok we can do petplay but Only if I’m the fly. If that’s ok… rubs my hands together … zzzzzz…. Hope I don’t get swatted…. Zzzzzzzzz

bunnies already figured out all of quantum mechanics so its kinda embarassing you haven't :/

level up! your character class has changed from philosopher-paladin to ichneumon hostess (+20% to domestic tasks and childcare, -20% against brood parasitism). it's probably nothing