the pikmin will die if he hit the ground save him save him save

Statement of Y/N, regarding their time in servitude to the entity formerly known as One Direction. Statement begins.

"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.

Toad #27 let me borrow her IPod Nano. It had a lot of songs. I couldn’t believe there are so many songs. It had over 100 songs. Some of the songs had lyrics. I like when people sing in songs.

I should make a walking sim called Museum of Dead Marios where the spirits of all the Marios that died along the many Super Mario Bros. playthroughs are entombed in ornate vases and paintings that you can interact with, whereupon the game brings up a dialog box like "I fell off a cliff." or "I touched a Goomba.". At the end of the exhibit is a floating red and blue orb whose dialog reads "I died for what I believed in".