i eata da onion!! @onion-enjoyer - Tumblr Blog

whatever I'm out of here.

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wizardarchetypes

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

superdaisypowerhour

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

rubysapphrald

i feel so defensive and protective of people with ARFID like if i had a disorder that made my brain register 90% of food as poison for no reason and i had a bazillion people on the internet constantly calling me a manchild who needs to just grow up and stop being a picky eater i would start killing people

rubysapphrald

people with ARFID and people with very few autism safe foods and people with contamination OCD and people in ED recovery and everyone else with a complicated relationship with food that no one takes seriously GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!

userfish

tumblr distilled into a tweet

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fandom-man

cherubg1rl

saintysauce

i think its telling that a lot of people see a "racist phase" as an unfortunate little character flaw like its not bizarre as fuck to have a phase where you hate Black people or downplay their suffering bc its funny to you.

like i firmly believe people can change and grow, but the way that nonblacks are so quick to go "its not a big deal" to every instance of someone having a history of racism is frustrating. especially because they'll see it as a single instance, just petty drama, and never stop to think about how tiring it is to find out over and over with different people that someone you thought was a decent person had a phase where they thought your oppression was hilarious, exaggerated, or even deserved.

(and as a side note, a lot of you need to realize that racism isn't solely saying "i hate Black people!!!" overtly- its much more pervasive and seemingly innocuous than yall seem to think and people point this out over and over but it seems to be a brand new idea every time this rolls up again.)

and like, people always get to grow out of these phases and laugh about them like its a piece of silly trivia, meanwhile the people affected by these phases then and now are told to be quiet about even just being disappointed. and a lot of the times nonblacks will exaggerate a mild expression of disappointment as a violent "cancelling" or dramastarting.

just stop treating racism like a accident to giggle at :/ people aren't perfect, but racism towards Black people more often than not is deliberate, and people are allowed to be disappointed by it

dykeferatu

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.

vhen-harel

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vampyrlig

Lovisa Lager by Ninja Hanna for OFFICE MAGAZINE

we are gonna try to make vegan sausages today only they are not vegan because i used real butter to carmelize my onions #myonions but other than that they will be vegan and hopefully delicious but also im going a bit off the rails with the recipe so like i dont think itll inherently be bad but i dont think itll turn out very sausagey which is fine ig im mostly here to try to up my fiber intake

#COULDNT FIND ANY DRIED WHOLE GRAINS AT THE GROCERY STORE IM USING CANNED CORN WHATEVER

einarbaldvin

Comet. Ink on paper animation.

yiiiiiiiikes25

zooophagous

We're experiencing some severe weather warnings for parts of the new Tornado Alley these next couple of days, so I have some storm safety tips from someone who lives on an open plain with almost literally no natural windbreaks:

1. Have fun and be yourself

2. The tornado is more afraid of you then you are of it

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gokusclit

When ur a lesbian straight cis men either see u as like secretly a straight girl who needs to just find the right dick or whatever or they just see u as one of the guys + think ur as bad as them and both options suck lowkey

gokusclit

Idk how many more “me bringing my lesbian homie to the two man instead of bro” reels I can handle getting sent bruh

exmoors

Ok no more today good night horses

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i eata da onion!!