i'll just call a taxi.

Hello 👋 this is Montgomery lamontgommery 🌲🍀adventurer🐻🐗 of 😷🤕😷🤧 gath 🥴🫠😶‍🌫️ I’m stranded 🧶🪢 here at [coordinates] 😮‍💨😓 this message 💌 is for comfrey macleod ☁️ IM 😰😥🫣 SCARED😰🤢😨😵‍💫 IM 😫🥺😭SO 😵🤧🫠SCARED 😱🫢🫨🤢😭🥺 I- I- I found your power ⚡️💡🌩️ station 🔋⚡️💡🚎🛰️🚙 at Ramansuuuuuuuu😭🥺😫😖😭🥺😰😥😭😫🥺 And I- I saw that “Montgomery 🐻🌲🏕️knows the way 🛣️🚦🚸🚏🚐🚴” I’m Montgomery🐻🦖🌸🦋🐐, but I cannot 🛑✋👎🚫⛔️find the way 😭🥺😫😰😖😥👎🚙🛣️😫 I’m on your old 👵📜🏚️ ship 🗝️🚢🛶🛳️⛵️ with a weak crew 👊🦾✨🐀🔫 they were the weakest😪🤧😷🤕😴 people I could find 😭😖😫 there’s one named Maxwell 🤵‍♂️🥸🕺gotch 👊💰🤑with the tiniest fists😈🤏👊🤜 😇OW 😖😫🤕sorry 🥺😭I’ve been bitten 🦷😬by a crab 🦀🐚🦞I have to pee💦😭🥺😫, I haven’t eaten🍔🍖🦀 comfrey ☁️🌦️🫵find me 😫😭🥺😖I have to peeeeeeeee 💦😫🥺💦🫛🫣😔I have to peeeeeeeee 😭😰😥😖😫🤢🫛💦🌊💧

“qu’est-ce qu’y’all doing aujourd’hui” is gonna stay with me for a minute.

Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

This guy can't find the divine within the mundane! Kill him girls!

one of my sexual fantasies is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me

healing happens in circles, not lines. you will return to old places with new eyes.

I love it when dogs try to help but the task at hand requires zero dogs so they just kinda stand in front of you and look serious.

middle aged men do this too

mind if a bouba boy speaks a little kiki

spring is so crazy you go outside and youre like damn its green

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed