i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

Guy who says “I’m contributing to traffic” instead of “I’m stuck in traffic”.

I’m thinking of Beginning it all

making friends via fandom is inherently hilarious because in many ways it's like a regular friendship and sometimes you'll share stuff that's going on in your lives and offer support and talk about food or pets or random cultural stuff because you live on opposite sides of the damn planet, but also some of your interactions are like "hello beloved friend whom I cherish deeply, I have brought you a deceptively platonic gift of lovingly crafted star wars porn"

did anyone else just get pregnant

*irony-poisoned marvel movie quip that cuts through any sincerity or seriousness in the scene voice* wait - did anyone else just get pregnant?

hes right inside me isnt he

Being nice to someone you don’t like is not manipulation btw it’s being civil

Mmm no, this is like seeking validation. Ofc it’s best to be nice but if I don’t like you or we both dislike eachother, then there’s no reason for us to communicate or be around eachother. It’s not about being immature, I would much rather not put myself in such a situation.

Have you ever had a job