not everything in a story has to or should be "realistic" but in my opinion there's a level of illusion that should be maintained, and I think that's the actual problem that many people try to pinpoint with the "unrealistic" criticism. Dialogue shouldn't be written like an actual transcript of human speech, but should contribute to the illusion of a real person speaking. A character is a tool of the story, not a narrative, but we're trying to maintain the illusion that they are a person. Worldbuilding should exist to serve the story, not to be a perfect simulacrum of how every aspect of nature/society etc. would actually play out for real. But there should be the illusion that it could be real, that organizations and systems would operate in such a way, that people might behave in such a way.

sometimes you need to do things for yourself and not for sharing online. rearrange the furniture or redecorate and don't post it. go on a walk and identify some plants and don't log them in an app. install a new shelf to organise your supply closet and don't share a before and after. go on a hike with a beautiful view and don't take pictures. learn to identify bird songs and don't keep a list of how many online. pick up a new hobby and don't create an account to share your work. read a book and don't share your progress and rating online.

Born to be the lesbian childfree divorced wine aunt who travels across the world, forced to be a religious Westerosi queen

I’m not crying. You are. We are all crying.