surprise, bitch

sorry if u dont think im funny but that’s not my problem my target audience (me) has already been met

*takes a free sample twice* i love robbery and fraud

Can we please stop associating being a good person with how much you're willing to suffer in silence for other people? You can be a kind person and still say "no, I don't have the time/energy to help you with that." You can be a kind person and still say "this makes me uncomfortable, please stop." You can be a kind person and still say "I disagree and here's why." You can be kind and still say "I'm not okay with this." Being kind is about treating people with kindness and respect, not about being the human equivalent of a doormat!

remember when they asked malcolm subban what he hates most about montreal and he said his brother

sir please that’s my emotional support group of mutuals who I never interact with but still care deeply about

i feel like we dont talk enough about how two of the most decorated female hockey players ever, one a former captain for team canada and the other for the usa, fell in love and had a baby together 

Ok but where is my cheesey lesbian rom-com about them falling in love while playing against each other

If I was an exhausted NHLer being interviewed after a playoff game I would simply give in and fall asleep in front of the microphone