quick reminder that you're actually not obliged to feel any empathy for someone who would have described your death as 'necessary' if the exact same thing had happened to you

I can tell we watch a few too many cooking shows at home, because my eight year old told me "the ginger isn't really coming through in this salmon". In his defense, he was right, but at the time I didn't appreciate it.

[jojo pose] count dracula. [different jojo pose] nice to meet you. [jojo walk cycle] alexa, turn down the music! [the obnoxious music doesn't change volume] mr harker

Cuntula

Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

love how when i get a new interest, i’m like “oh god it’s happening again” and i’m stuck like that for about a week until everything explodes and any interest i’ve had prior is completely dwarfed for an unknown amount of time

idc anymore i think we should be a burden to each other

and yes this includes a certain degree of tolerance for emotional burden, all else being equal. my love for you, and loyalty to you, is not dependent on how easy you make it for me to love you. i don’t value you for how little trouble you cause me. i want to learn how to take you for who you are, instead of who i want you to be or who i think you should be

as someone who got 2 concussions this year and inhaled toxic substances at the workplace i can confidently inform you all that all characters in the star wars prequels are absolved of stupidity. they're all dumb as a box of rocks but its not their fault that no one made them wear helmets in wartime. the introduction of SPOSHA (space OSHA) would reduce incidences of darth vader creation by at least one i just know it

"anakin shouldn't have done that" he was huffing space gasoline at age 7 literally what did you expect. "obi-wan shouldn't have done that" he literally goes through a window face first in episode 2. "padme shouldn't have done that" she's had a career since she was 10

i've crunched the numbers and analyzed the situations man and i tell you i ran this in the most favorable of conditions. assuming this boy turned 19 literally 5 minutes before AOTC picks up and Space Years can be substituted by our years, and by '20+' we mean 21, this dude gets electrocuted every 7.4 weeks. dude...... like bro. like man.

HEY SO IT WASN'T FAVORABLE CONDITIONS APPARENTLY IT WAS FUCKING 30 TIMES FOR A RATE OF 1 ELECTROCUTION EVERY 5 WEEKS HAHAHAHAHAHA

Tactical reloading of things that don’t need tactical reloads

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

the way this is like baaaaarely parody

bringing in a second actor towards the end of the video to deliver a single devastating punchline is brilliant writing

[Video Description: a lynx casually walks down a snow covered bank, onto a log and reaches a frozen river. The lynx takes two steps; the ice cracks loudly. Instantly the lynx stands still. It then looks around and then leaps. The lynx makes a landing on the other side of the river, a faint crack can be heard. It continues on its way unfazed. /End VD.]

That's a guy who's fallen through the ice before, lmao.