krampuscrump

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

anyways, I'm still so angry over that Deadline article about Disney nuking Ncuti Gatwa's era of Doctor Who because of "woke" (not even kidding), because they received "overwhelming" feedback that the show was "too woke" for international audiences. It will never not piss me the fuck off how woke was/is literally aave for being politically aware that's been so co-opted by white establishment conservatives that this bastardised co-opted colonised concept of "woke" is now weaponised against Black people, people of colour and other marginalised people to justify casting us down and out. A literal fuckinf alien was played by a Black gay actor and old white people lost their shit and now a 60 yr old show is basically dead because some white people hated they weren't being directly pandered to. I'm never not gonna be pissed the fuck OFF

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.

But this is genuinely a shitty act against humanity.

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

can't wait to say "during pride month?" at every minor inconvenience all of next month