Choi Sans Housewife

man why is any other cola in the world fine but it feels like pepsi goes directly to your colon and starts digging

straight up they carbonate pepsi with the souls of car crash victims

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

death penalty to anyone who calls the princesses boobs small. if you have bigger boobs than the princess in her presense she is allowed to grope you or use you as a pillow.

the princesses b cups are actually very humble!!!! your double ds are arrogant. come here the princess is going to touch them ok

one must imagine Sisyphus as having a big, round, juicy ass

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

(For those not familiar with it, the middle logo is for DownDetector.)

drama is so fun because we had to be a fridge with a personality so we made it that when it was open and being filled with food I would shout "OHHHH YEAH UGHHH FILL ME UP OH YEAHH PUT THAT CUCUMBER INSIDE OF ME UGHHHHH YEAH PUT THAT MEAT IN ME HELL YEAH OHHHHHH" and then I played a mum who's teenage daughter has with anorexia

*steps one degree of separation outside my normal tumblr orbit* oh wow you people are all out of your minds

#i'm quietly ice fishing with my mutuals but sometimes i perceive the shadows of lovecraftian discourse monsters passing below the surface

monsterfuckers are swimming furiously after them