not saw related but i do have to hand it to whoever made the banana splits movie for saying, “most people don’t really care about this niche kids property anymore, let’s go wild and do a bloody horror movie with them and see if that’s anything.” we need to do that with more stuff. when will i get my horror adaptation of barney.
was midway through a text rant to my friends about how i could make the most 6/10 ass stereotypical mascot horror barney movie about a serial killer that is a traumatized former child actor on barney who hijacks the suit and takes the live audience hostage and makes the audience play evil versions of the barney games (i don’t actually remember any of them) to liberate the kids from their parents and teach the main character about standing up to her dad or something when i realized i’m just doing death game horror again. all roads lead back to saw i guess.
the name would be something like “barney loves you” and the tagline would be “no more purple dinosaur” and the trailer would have the i hate you you hate me let’s get together and kill barney song! i could literally do it with a sound stage seven actors and five gallons of fake blood! it would be so easy! fuck!!!
don’t get it twisted. this would not be a good movie. it would not be intended to be a good movie. it would be intended to be a movie you watch on tubi while you’re drunk.
oh COME ON
