KoreanKarma's Den

We are a family.

We love each other unconditionally,

But we fight and argue and hurt each other.

It is sad and painful to realize this is in our lives.

It is okay though.

We are a family.

Even if we are broken,

Even if we fall apart and lose sight of who we are,

We can patch it back together stronger than before,

And it will never change the fact of who you are.

You are my sister.

You are one of the guides in my life,

One of the North Stars I follow on my journey to success.

You are a kindred soul.

You care and you love and you nurture me to be the best I can.

You are my best friend.

You have stood by me through thick and thin,

You have given help in my darkest hours,

And have never given up on believing in me.

You are my sister.

That’s all you need to be for me.

Don’t be someone you don’t want to be.

Don’t do things that you don’t want to do.

Strive for what you want and know is right.

Be the person you want to be and live without regrets.

Through it all know I will be next to you,

Through it all know I support your choices,

Through it all know I will always love you.

You are my sister.

I don’t have time to worry about those I don’t like,

Somebody called me an asshole

And I don’t know if it’s true

It seemed to everyone else they only speak the truth.

I lie and I cheat and waste my days away

I never once thought “Maybe I can change.”

I only ever changed once long ago.

It was the catalyst for hate I had for the world.

There’s never been a day where I wasn’t so mean

Even if I tried to it never succeeds.

Everything I say and everything I do,

It all contradicts what I think of myself

That I’m not wrong and everyone else is at fault.

I want to call you a liar, say that you’re wrong

But something inside keeps me from shouting along

To the never ending hatred I have for myself.

Maybe you’re right and the evil is me.

The pain that has spread comes from within

And the hate that I feel is deserved in the end.

Never in my life has it seemed to me,

That the asshole isn’t you.

I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in hand

Or the fame and the grace, the wealth that they had.

I had nothing of the sorts or anything at all.

Hate was my teacher and pain was my home.

I never knew the love of support, only the cold.

For everything they gained, easily without care.

I struggled and nearly died just to obtain

The things that the others took for granted everyday.

It’s harder to live in this desolate world,

When power and wealth measures one’s worth.

I hold neither right now, and at the beginning as well,

So I took what they had and cursed it all.

Never once did I ever try to change who I am.

I am an amalgamation of disappointment,

Of the hate and disgrace of a worthless man.

I have no sympathies, my heart knows no worth,

And through everything and anything at all,

I put up walls around my heart,

I wouldn’t dare let anyone in.

The last time I did so

My entire world caved in.

I gave up so much

Only to lose the more of the same.

It wasn’t worth the endeavor

And I was the only one to blame.

But to save our future,

This world I had grown so attached to,

I finally let them crumble and fall.

And now I feel vulnerable in my skin

I feel weak looking at my reflection.

Surrounded by wolves

That’s how I feel.

I can’t trust anyone

Not even the ones I call friends

Nor the ones who are my family.

I’m alone in this world of fear

Did I ever tell you that I was lost?

That I was wandering aimlessly,

Drifting between my purpose and just ending it all?

I was hopeless before

No sense of being me,

No reason for struggling ceaselessly.

I didn’t believe I could continue on

Couldn’t continue down the desolate road I set forth upon.

And then you came and said to me,

“Don’t give up just yet.

You’re not alone anymore.

Let’s fight on together, just you and me.”

And so we set forth down the road,

We journeyed past everything that held me back,

My demented past that struggled to be free

My fears and worries that held me back

And then we saw me, the one thing I couldn’t beat.

You took my hand and said,

“Don’t worry, I’m here.

We can do this, just one step more,

You’ll be free.”

I took that one step, made it past my darkness,

But when I looked back,

You were nowhere to be seen.

And then I heard you call out,

Struggling just as I had been.

I made up my choice and plunged forth

I dove back into the darkness,

Maybe it was wrong,

To think we were meant to be

How could you and I ever exist

Exist as one whole being?

We started off on the wrong foot

Yes, that I will admit

Because of my unveiled bias

My hate

My contempt

I was completely in opposition of you.

I gave you no chance,

Not a single breath of reprieve.

I was unrelenting in my attacks

To turn you against me

To make you hate me

Despise and loathe me

So I could finally be left to my peace.

And then things started to change.

We were backstabbed and betrayed

By those we put our trust in.

And in our darkest moments,

We came together to survive.

With just two burning sparks

Two near lifeless embers,

We reignited the fires of war,

And brought ruin to our betrayers.

That showed me,

It made me realize just how different we still were

So as I write this note to you,

I want you to know I still think

The pieces on the board tip one by one

Broken and defeated, worn and exhausted.

New pieces take their places

Filling in the roles that strive for greatness.

Placed on the bloody hell called the battlefield

Sorrowful and hallowed dreams burn into ash.

Becoming kindling for the next storm of fire,

Nothing remains on the board of the world,

It's pieces,

Falling and falling

So unceremoniously falling

I scrambled towards the edge, arms outstretched and reaching

But I still fall.

I’m caught in a rift,

The canyon opening wide

I can’t control my descent,

Only fall and fall and fall.

There’s nothing to catch me,

No hand outstretched for mine

There’s nothing I can do

So I’ll fall and fall

Into the darkest abyss of all

You

Are the one factor I could not account for

Your heated energy and cheery disposition

I could not factor it in.

It made no sense as to why you somehow

And yet someway

Made your way past the barrier I had put up.

You were an unknown

And that made you an enigma.

You

Managed to get past it

The ice cold wall I had placed over my heart

An impenetrable barrier that none had gotten past

But you

You made it seem so easy when you did

Even if I tried to stop you

You made it in

I fell in love with you

And that made you dangerous.

You

Aren’t who you said you were

Like a liar you ripped off your mask and showed me

You showed me your real colors

The true nature you hid came forth

And I hate you now

I tried to get you out

But you’re still here

And I dare you to face me again.

You

Hate me now

And I understand that

I left you for dead in an unforgiving world

But you could’ve told me

We could’ve fought together and got through this

But we didn’t

And I turned my back on you

It wasn’t me who needed you

But you who needed me

And now I only have regret