He's her lobster!

lol i hate today’s era of absolutely zero nuance takes. a friend didn’t behave exactly as you’d wanted them to? cut them off. a guy didn’t text you back instantly bc he has his own life? he’s just giving you breadcrumbs. doing something makes you uncomfortable? don’t do it anymore. someone isn’t instantly available for you? disinterest. just absolutist statements that often don’t apply to the multilayer situations of everyday life. like. stop. literally just stop it

isn't it so funny there's such a thing as "customer service voice"? Like I have to speak to you like a child or you'll rip my face off like a wild chimp

Ten years ago…

staying close w people long distance really is about the mundane stuff. i get texts like "made quesadillas" "spilled mop water all over the floor :(" "lady on the bus has not one not two but three tiny dogs in her purse" andits like wow. i love you more than words can express

happy 100k to the realest post ive ever made

it’s a tough life for someone like me, who should have been born a muppet

hey man [-2] can you stop [-2] using fucking [-2] poison spells on [-2] me. its not [-2] cool

Bro why did you just become a red dot on the minimap are we cool

Wells are a type of wizard tower, they're just inverted

w. looks around nervously. wizard hole

Hmmm yes we’ll endorse that