I need people to understand that gender expression is not sexuality.
Before I transitioned to male, I identified as lesbian and had homophobes insist that I secretly liked men.
Now that I have transitioned to male but choose to dress colorfully and emote freely, other queer people have actually been more forceful and condescendingly assertive that I secretly like men ("oh, honey..." "the closet has a glass door, sweetie..."). The implication that I do not know myself, and that I will only *be* myself once I “try” a man has spread from homophobes to the entire community that once understood the pain of being repeatedly told that the only type of love that we are allowed is one where we are completely silenced and stripped of our own desire.
Gender expression must be liberated from sexuality; A person should not be forced to conform to hyper-masculinity in order for people to believe that they know who they are. I cannot stress enough how much this stigma creates and reinforces toxic masculinity.











