My Life and Troubles

I don't know what to say. I got a better job making more money and having more time off. Then they fired some people and had trouble getting anyone hire, my time off went away. Eventually they gave me a raise to help compensate, but I don't think they're hiring anyone to help compensate.

Then they said I had to earn the raise I didn't even ask for.

So now I'm making more money than ever at a job where I'm too busy with no prospects for a new or better job.

My new job is going well. It's been really busy and has kept me pretty tired, yet I actually like getting up and going to work. I'm not coming in right under the wire anymore either, I'm usually early. It's really refreshing not to work in a toxic environment anymore.

It's still work, there are still days I wish I had off that I don't. But it's easier to work for someone you want to work for, and who you want to help out, then someone who you struggle to interact with. It's nice to have workplace motivations other than money again.

Other than work, I've not been doing much. Covid still has a lot of things closed down by me. Things are starting to inch back to normal but I'm okay waiting a bit longer to get there as long as we get there. I think my city should be pretty good by mid summer. (At least good enough to put the pandemic on the backs of our minds for a bit.)

I’ve been doing some growing up and doing things I know are good for me, but that doesn’t mean I want to do them. It sounds so childish but I spent a few years doing whatever I wanted, it felt good and I’m not fully ready to give it up. 

I feel like it’s nice to check in here once in a while, even if no one’s really reading my posts. It just feels good to organize my thoughts and get them out of my head a bit.  

Life’s been weird lately. Like always. I got offered a new job, that I don’t really want but I accepted to start something new. Then my current job offered me more money, which feels really nice but I had recently said I felt like it was a mistake staying there so long. Meanwhile my current job wants to see me advance as much as possible, while my potential new job is a total mystery. I never wanted to leave for similar work or similar pay unless I had to, but that may be what’s happening.   

To make it worse I’m a very indecisive person. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.   

forever

It’s shaping up to be a whirlwind end to the year. I’ve had some crazy ups and downs in a short amount of time and been super busy with all sorts of things.   

  I think It’s been ultimately good. I’ve reconciled with some people, but I don’t feel amazing about it. Mostly I can’t wait for this year to be done, and I think I might take some time off if things stay busy for a while. I’ve never done that before but I have to think more about my selfcare.   

 I’ve sort of resigned myself to stay at my shitty job, nobody seems to want to hire me, and it’s really not that shitty anyway. Can’t help but feel like I’m making a mistake though.  

I’ve started playing some old videogames just to help me relax, and I’ve thought about reaching out to some old friends but for some reason I didn’t. It’s really been a turbulent few weeks which I’m only really realizing as I’m writing this.