Gimme Gimme chimichanga

Another day at the office

Yeah, baby. Load my cannon.

A meeting with the "Mercenary With A Mouth"

As she grabbed him he kept speaking. “Careful, that’s my second favorite arm!” but he, again, seemed to allow her to throw him. he fell to the ground rolled once and used the momentum to fling himself back to his feet. Raising a finger, he said. “now, is this really the thanks I get for not killing you?” he studied her for a moment, no real stance of his own. He just… stood there until he said, “welp, if diplomacy doesn’t work…. wait does it ever?” and with that, he dashed toward the woman, drew one of his swords and slashed at her with blinding speed vertically cutting the top of her shirt, just below the neck but not touching anything else. “wow!” he exclaimed, now behind her. “these are amazing! I’m in love already!” he turned his attention back to the strange woman. “also, in that stretch of time, I coulda groped you roughly four times. you should thank me for not.”

Immediately, as soon as "help" escaped her lips, Deadpool had put the sword in his left hand away and held a .45 pistol trained on her head. "Did you forget we're in France?" He said, his voice slightly deeper, more menacing. " I think you mean to shout AIDEZ MOI!" He yelled at the top of his voice before putting his gun and right sword away, pulling a rubber chicken from his belt and throwing it at the ground where it burst and covered the entire hallway in a thick, white smog. As it settled, the insane man was nowhere to be found. The only indication of where he went were white foot prints that led off toward the broken window and a little note that read, "eifel tower, you, me, slashy and stabby(those are my swords) 4 way date tomorrow at 7. You buy the wine."