Creature of Void and Starlight

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

you're just mad because im annoying you and getting on your nerves on purpose

sometimes i think about the christmas cactus that sat on the divider between our kitchen and dining room while I was growing up. small, never put out any new leaves, never flowered. hardly enough light to maintain itself, never repotted, never fertilized-- watered occasionally, because that was the bare minimum you were supposed to do for plants, right? i bought one when I moved out, because it was familiar. treated it the same way. it was the only thing I could manage not to kill for years. I killed a money tree. I killed english ivy, for crying out loud. then I started looking around. learning more. I got into plants-- first as a crapshot idea of maybe growing food in my shitty little apartment, but houseplants were and easier step from there. I repotted that thing - bigger pot, better draining soil. Learned when to water it. how often to fertilize. I put it under my grow lights, and then next to a window. And you know what happened as soon as I stopped assuming it would just magically sort itself out? It's doubled in size since I got it. pushes out multiple rounds of new growth per spring/summer. each fall and winter, I get to enjoy multiple sets of blooms. Multiple!! and so many each time, too. every time I see new growth, a new flower, it reminds me that good things do happen with time, with consistency - something I'd sorely missed in the now now now of daily life. "next month" barely exists for me as a concept, much less next season, next year. but I'm working on it. and I'll get there someday

i got a monstera recently, by the way. always wanted one, excited to see it grow like one leaf per month lmfao in a couple years I'll have a gorgeous plant and be able to look at it and see the results of something you just can't rush

I'm still inordinately upset that I was pushed to do everything full blast, taking breaks is for losers, doing it late is a failure that will be held over my head for all of eternity, etc etc. btw it's a waste of time, effort, and money to enrich your life in ways you enjoy and are kind to your wellbeing. rawdog and tough through it pussy, I did so why can't you??? btw im not gonna offer any guidance beyond "do it".

this has significantly impacted my ability to accomplish things like a normal human being fwiw, because my mental and physical health are trash and i cant do that