fortune's fool

phone addiction is absurd bc it’s like ah yes perhaps one more visit to the rectangle of no enrichment or fulfillment will finally enrich and fulfill me

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

i dont mean to victim blame but why do these vampires keep talking to daniel molloy when they know he's daniel molloy

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

i hear there are several types of ways to feel

How come every message scrawled in blood on a wall is sans serif