Not today Justin
d e v o n
Cosmic Funnies
â
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Discoholic đŞŠ
Keni
Xuebing Du
One Nice Bug Per Day
Acquired Stardust
i don't do bad sauce passes
noise dept.
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
Mike Driver
almost home
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
romaâ
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@kiwi-kittykat
peter burke is so funny bc heâs a completely normal guy except heâs been obsessed with two people to a point of stalking (his wife and the conman he chased for years) but itâs fine bc theyâre just as obsessed with him đ???
No donât leave this in the tags I need it
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if anyone ever asks why return of the jedi is my favourite star wars film iâll just send them this gif
I think the funnier conclusion is that Luke did mean to physically kick the guy, missed, and then used the force to cover his fuckup.
ok so this is another long shot but a few years ago there was a twitter post (in japanese i think?) that had measurememts for how to make this book stand thing out of cardboard that you could use to double up books and use up more space on shelves
back then i made a bunch of these but by now i lost the pic and dont know how to find the original post anymore
if it comes down to it i can just take one apart and get the measurements from there but i would be very grateful if anyone happens to have the original post or something similar??
don't mind how long it's been since i made this post, anyway i realized that i don't even need to take one apart to get the measurements when i can literally just unfold it and refold it /FACEPALM
so anyway here is the diagram for anyone else who is interested!!
this requires pretty big carboard pieces, if you have a really big box or something you can make it from one piece, but if you don't, you can also just make each of the pieces individually and then tape them together
and then in the end you put it together like this!!
and then when you make a bunch you can put them all next to each other and stack your books like crazy
EVERYONE START GETTING MORE USE OUT OF YOUR SPACE NOW!!!!
why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens donât lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job
Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety?Â
âOh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.âÂ
Iâm not asexual but Iâm fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sexâŚ
I mean.Â
âWHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.â
âFUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.âÂ
This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future. Â So the next time you see artwork like this:
Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying âWeâll tell you the winning lotto numbers.â
Them: âWe have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~â Me: *diving headfirst into the water*
This post is a blessing
Congratulations! Odysseus! Youâve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!
Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites
Oh my god they were phishing
There's this really obscure forgotten DC hero named the Heckler, who's basically buggs bunny as a superhero, not having any powers or physically strong, but just really good at pissing people off until they accidentally deal with themselves.
Now they're interesting, but the REAL star of the show is one of his villains, John Doe the Generic Man, who's this guy in a stark white suit with flat pink unshaded, untextured skin with no features or anything who talks like chatGPT and has black text over his face that explains what he's feeling at the moment. That guy is fucking fascinating.
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The time Ash caught *NSYNC with a PokĂŠ Ball
stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror
World Heritage Post
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áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
áâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇáâ̤ááˇ
KICK THE CAN!
Letâs play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
lie to me
A stalwart of British acting, with an incredibly varied talent, from the hilarious Hercules Shipwright in Cabin Pressure, to long suffering Giles in Buffy, even Frank N Furter in Rocky Horror on stage, Anthony Head, you shall be missed.
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hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like âwow humans are fucking wildâ and took it
Humanityâs first contact with Vulcans was some guy going âIâm down to fuck.â
Vulcansâ first contact with Humans was an emphatic âSure.â
@sineala
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
âsirâŚtheseâŚthese humansâŚthey greet each other byâŚâ *glances around before furtively whispering* âby clasping handsâŚâ
*prolonged silence* âoh myâŚâ
âsirâŚsir how will we make first contact with them? surely weâŚwe cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??â
*several pensive moments later*Â âcontact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, heâll put his hands on anythingâ
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: ââŚ.my day has come.â
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Yâall just be makinâ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: hereâs a screencap of Solkar doing the âmy body is readyâ pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochraneâs hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are âdistant xenophobesâ or âhorny on main for humanityâ. Also apparently this guy is Spockâs great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkarâs descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so Iâm not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkarâs descendants and humans, but Iâm also notâŚ.notâŚ.saying that.
actual footage of first contact makeouts
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes CockraneâsâIâm sorry, Cochraneâsâhand⌠The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual⌠It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkarâs part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
Thatâs why heâs so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar canât believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him canât believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkarâs pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochraneâs firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, âTAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.â
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: donât tell me how to do my jobÂ
This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.
I've had this idea stuck in my head all day
(Thank you to @nebulations for the alt ID!)
Fullmetal Alchemist?
Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:
âGrace says he would like half of dome to be water.â
âOh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?â
Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. âNo. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.â
âTell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.â
âNo. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.â
âWHY QUESTION???â
To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.
âGrace want this liquid for celebration.â
âOf course.â They scan it. âYou have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.â
âYes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.â
âWHY QUESTION?????â
Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.
Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.
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I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive.
some of my favorite classic things to attempt to communicate non verbally when you do not share a verbal language with someone:
"I have no ill will toward you; I have good intent; I would like to socially connect with you" "come over here and look at this thing!" "WATCH OUT FOR THAT THING" "I like this; this is good" "I don't like that; that is bad" "this is the place that I/you/we need to go" "this is how you perform this action" "this is how we eat this kind of food"
feel free to add more
