depression

wishing all my asian american mutuals a very safe and good day today

google doc full of donation links and resources

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

why are you calling him green shrek?? shrek is already green??

No one is regular, everyone is extraordinary

Oh my god

oh lord

First I got a jury summons for my legal name, and now I have a jury summons for my deadname. Only one of us is coming to court.

They are, in fact, summonses (this seems to be the official plural even though it sounds fake) to appear at 2 different courts under 2 different names. The dates overlap. Folks, I think I’m in a sitcom.

I’m gonna need a fake mustache, a suit, and a dress. In the final scene I’ll have on the dress, the suit jacket, and half of the mustache. Bonus points if I have ripped stockings under my butch shoes.

heteronormativity is a hell of a drug

lol

I am lost. programmer memes are next level

TLDR, the red light cameras actually read license plate numbers. So when they read the code it executed the command which dumped the entire database of saved information. So depending on how often they back it up, thats a lot of fines the city isn’t going to be able to collect.