La Villanelle.

if you’re reading this, it’s a sign that the thing you’re anxious about will go well. take a deep breath and trust yourself.

oh to be a little goose and wreak absolute havoc

As cat owners we like to joke about how the cat is the one who’s really in charge, but let’s be honest here: my cats think they’re in charge, but they’re also fucking dumbasses. It’s sort of an incompetent-king-and-long-suffering-advisor arrangement, if the king were prone to getting their head stuck in Kleenex boxes.

Ah, time for my one Pride joke: I was talking to a conservative the other day and they asked me “How come Pride has to be in the summer? It should be in September when the kids are back in school and don’t have to see it” but I pointed out it’s right there in the bible, Pride cometh before the Fall

The joke is that I would ever talk to a fucking conservative

underappreciated form of humor: using incorrect long forms of proper names i.e. Craigory, Bobert, Barold, etc.

no song will ever be as good as the chain by fleetwood mac ……….. like ………… yes bitch ………. break the silence …………. damn the dark ………… damn your lies ……………