kinda tw: slight talk about sex but its kinda poetic ?? yeah
Soon I'll be going to my first senior prom.
I remember going to my first prom with you in my first year of high school.
You took a lot of my first.
Do you remember when I lied on your floor, my body shaking and my heart racing, do you remember what you took from me?
Or, what I gave to you I should rather say.
Did you know you were my first love?
You met me, right between the abuse, right at the beginning of a life I hadn't lived yet.
You were there for the first month my father would be permanently gone, and I could finally close doors without flinching.
Do you remember how at prom, I was wearing that awful dress when I should have been in a suit, and how you were the only one who spoke "Sage?"
When we sat in the WalMart parking lot that night, I remembered having felt something I never felt before. I was on top of you, as our hearts held each-others pace, I knew that wasn't what I wanted.
That isn't to say that I didn't want you. It's just to say, that I didn't want the feeling you gave me anymore. I felt worthless and unloved if I wasn't straddling life and holding it by it's throat, tongues dancing songs between each other.
Did you know you were my first heart break? Or, how every word you said implanted itself into my prefrontal cortex, and I'd never be able to run from it?
"Hey, I was thinking and, I wanted to tell you that I used to love you for sex but now I don't anymore,"
was probably an act of romance in your eyes but it was a blade disguised as loving arms and security I could never really reach. That's nothing someone should have to wake up to read.
You probably forgot half the things you said to me, everything that stuck sideways out my ears always taunting me like the creatures in the games we'd play: Dungeons and Dragons, Magic.
But sometimes, silence doesn't come for the lonely and, I was alone long before I met you.
Do you remember when we met for the first time? I was seventeen now, you were twenty. We sat in your car at the river we used to dance in, and I wasn't the same person anymore.
I came back to meet you with short hair, a flat chest, and a new understanding of how life interacts without me. I met you for the second time. It was a new car, in a new house, with a new feeling attached.
I wanted to scream at you the day I met you again. I'm not honestly sure wether it was out of anger, or joy, or pain. But when you told me I changed, I couldn't help but grin because finally, you weren't the first to say that.
— a poem thing i never thought id share online
gummygunk
romaincrisis
ellievsbear
gamechangershow
