All I wanted was for you to love me harder, but instead you disappeared like a fever dream in cold December.

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All I wanted was for you to love me harder, but instead you disappeared like a fever dream in cold December.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Echoes of a Passing Season
Love is the most honest mistake we can ever make in this life. Loving you is one of the most intentional and easiest thing I have ever done. Falling in love with you just felt right, even though we don’t have any perfect fairy tale ending. In fact, I am thankful for your short presence in my life. My life was tinted with rainbow sky when you were present, my surrounding was filled with sweet-smelling fragrance of your clothing, even when cold wind came, you held and protected me. You were my steadfast harbor in the storm. Fearless wherever I go because you were present beside me.
Time to say good bye and close the book of us. If I were to go back to the past, I might avoid this pain, but the permanence of time and memories carved your name in my heart can never make this pain undone. I am helpless to the situation I am facing, so why harden my heart?
It goes without saying that I asked myself why I wasn’t good enough. I asked myself why despite everything I did, you still leave. But asking myself leave everything unanswered, because you already told me, it wasn't me, it was you.
Giving you VIP access to me and my life was a mistake. It gave you the privilege to hurt me in fast track too.
(01/25)
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”
— Maya Angelou
"Ever since you broke me, I stopped writing poems for any man I loved after you."

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10-02 (05:17): memuakkan
I thought as long as I'm wanted, it would fill the void in my heart, but instead it made the void even bigger. To be wanted for you flesh but never your ghost, that is a slow erasure. It feels almost as if I'm just a snail in a shell that can separate my body and soul anytime, but yet if I separated it, I would die. My heart just dims a little more knowing men only do something nice to me when they wanted something out of me, and that something often times is sex.
So what if I'm alone? It doesn't have any meaning when the connection made is purely superficial, talking boring stuff without the will to know me deeper. It feels empty when one party is looking for a soul mate, but other party is looking for a bed mate. I am independent, can do anything alone, I just need to deal with this loneliness.
“One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder”
— Unknown
“I hope you fall in love with someone who never lets you fall asleep thinking you’re unwanted.”
— Unknown

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周生如故 - Don’t go
“Disciple Cui Shiyi, bids farewell to her master.”
One and Only 周生如故 | episode 16
“美人骨,这骨头究竟有什么特别,可以连王室都忌惮,可以天下人传颂。”
-漼时宜
“Nanchen Royal Army, from it’s chief commander to every soldier, are all loyal and devoted to serving the state and the people. God will uphold justice and punish the evil. The injustice the Nanchen Royal Army suffered will be cleared someday.”
One and Only | 周生如故 | episode 24
周生如故中最精美又悲惨的镜头
C-drama Review: Beautiful Bones are Rare in this World
One and Only or 周生如故 is a 2021 historical romance drama consisting of 24 episodes based on a novel written by 墨宝非宝 (Mo Bao Fei Bao) published in 2013 titled 《一生一世:美人骨》 (One Life, One Incarnation: Beautiful Bones). I watched it right after Till the End of the Moon, and I don’t recommend you to do the same as it does nothing good to your mental state 😂
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“女以色授,男以魂与,情投意合,心倾于侧。”
"Beauty is offered, a soul is given in return, and the heart rejoices to be at one another's side."

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Till the End of the Moon Ep.18 (2023)
One of my favorite scenes from Till The End of the Moon
“没关系,这次就原谅你了。下不为例。”
Compilation edit of Andy Lau,Tony Leung,Leslie Cheung, and Chow Yun-Fat.
Rasputin edit