Rating band names based on their accuracy:
(I keep updating this list so check back later)
The Beatles: 0/10. None of these people are beetles, theyβre just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts
Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink
Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like
Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either theyβre pretending to fight a problem that doesnβt exist or theyβre doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it
The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to
Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury
Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I donβt think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams
The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because Iβm pretty sure they rolled quite a few
U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band
Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band βMetallicaβ is like naming your dog βdoggyβ
Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. Theyβre not even that hot, let alone red hot
Guns Nβ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music
Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location
Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes
The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho
Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago
Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used
Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho
The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location
The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an βeyed peaβ is but the black part is pretty accurate
Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not theyβre thinking about dragons.
Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go
Green Day: 0/10. Theyβre not even green
The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band
KISS: 5/10. Iβm sure they probably kissed sometimes
The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me
We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I canβt verify this but I have no reason to suspect that theyβd lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable
They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this bandβs height, the tallest guyβs only 6β1 so I wouldnβt exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I canβt really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants
The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. Iβm pretty sure βLumpβ was written about my first girlfriend tho so Iβll give them a point or two
Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but weβre kinda close genetically so Iβll give them partial credit
The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if theyβve actually killed before but the fact that theyβre not in prison tells me probably not
The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebodyβs offspring
Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic
Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that
Beastie Boys: 8/10. Theyβre pretty beast on the guitar
Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, youβre biting off way more than you can chew
Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because Iβm pretty sure they had more than one hole
Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that
Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go
The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate
Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I canβt find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely arenβt nine inches long
Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking
The Who: 2/10. Iβm not dealing with this βWhoβs On Firstβ bullshit
Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head
Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called βfive random dudes from the modern eraβ but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful
Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden
Sonic Youth: 5/10. Theyβre not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out
Talking heads: 8/10. Thereβs more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk
The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury werenβt the only fruits on this list
The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot
