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Kiana Khansmith

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@kill-me-instead

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he and I shall write the ending in blood
âWhen itâs over, leave. Donât continue watering a dead flower.â
â Unknown
in the end, she found the immortal part of herself again

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I donât know how to explain that itâs not about wanting to die, itâs about wanting things to stop hurting.
like a room that never turns off its lights buzzing, humming, too loud even in silence and my skin is just where the noise lands.
people think itâs an ending Iâm looking for but itâs more like a pause button on a life that keeps spilling over its edges.
I am not asking for nothing I am asking for less of everything at once for my thoughts to stop arriving like alarms for my chest to stop feeling like it forgot how to be still.
I carry days that feel too sharp to hold and I keep them anyway because I donât know where else to put them.
and if I could translate it properly I would say: I donât want to disappear I just want the hurt to leave the room first so I can finally breathe in it again.
âCherry Blossom Springâ and âEvening Showersâ by Helene Knott
âYou sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.â
â Kid Cudi

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âLife is a journey, not a destinationâ
â Ralph Waldo Emerson
Out Of The Earth You Came, 1930
Cardwell Higgins (American, 1902 - 1983)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Our Lady of the Blind Faith â Emil Melmoth, 2022
Jay Sekhar