Claiming their failure to help America would now leave the nations incredibly vulnerable to the danger of shotgun carousels, President Donald Trump warned the G7 summit this week that the U.S. will no longer protect them from the threat of the serial killer Jigsaw. “We asked you all for support, and you didn’t listen, so when you find yourself with a reverse bear trap on your face and a red countdown timer ticking down, don’t you dare call America, because we won’t help you,” said Trump, cautioning foreign allies that he would no longer authorize any preventive ordinances to prevent John Kramer from kidnapping them and forcing them to cut the key to their shackles out from their own skin.
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