Golden Child of Comedy

it’ll all work out, it might just be awkward for a bit

I need to admit something to the US Tumblrinas. Philadelphia isn't a place to me. It's a cream cheese. You say "philadelphia" or "philly" and I immediately, and exclusively, think of the cream cheese. "Twelve people die in Philadelphia disaster" wow that must've been a Molasses Flood style event

jesus christ. fine. ill say it. im sleepy. im sleepy, okay? do you know what being sleepy does to a person? to their spirit? i should be pitied.

currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

failed

855 Days since Tears of the Kingdom Released

somehow knowing that tumblr is being kept around mostly as a testing ground for advertisers and corporations doesn’t even make me feel that exploited, because every social media site is exploitive. but being basically lab rats to test shit on before it’s refined for use in polite society is by far the funniest possible way to be exploited.

#yeah maybe i’m a marketing lab rat but at least my dash is in fucking chronological order

scary girl September, offputting girl October, nightmare girl November, dead girl December

The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

Smash Or Pass should never be about attraction, that's what Hear Me Out is for. A Smash on Mickey Mouse is understandable, even respectable. A Hear Me Out on Mickey Mouse however, that requires a lab dissection