nataliekim

Dominant: *Sitting and watching tv while changing their position every 10 seconds* UuuUUuUGGgGGhHHhhh WHY CAN’T I EVER SIT STILL *drops down to do some pushups and situps* gotta look good for all the cuties out there *goes out to get some post-workout food* YAY I’M OUTSIDE <3 *looks at sky* OMG IT’S SO PRETTYYYY *gets food and sits down to eat it* *eats food in under a minute* *starts walking back home* SO. BORING. NEED. STIMULATION. but not gonna lie I probs look pretty *checks self out in window reflection* I WAS RIGHT????

Auxiliary: I am so… Relaxed… At ease in this environment… So satisfied with reality as it is… *runs into a problem* WASSUP MOTHERFUCKER YOU WANNA FIGHT LET’S GO

Tertiary: *Goes for jog* *showers and grooms self* *puts together aesthetically pleasing outfit* ENxJ’s Tips for Success #15: You gotta look hella fine *goes to McDonald’s and indulges on fries*

Dominant: Imo killing another human being would be justified if it meant preventing something worse from happening, like if Donald Trump became president and someone assassinated him to prevent the US from getting totally fucked by a leader like him. But if that did happen, there would always be a chance for there to be some unfortunate consequence such as someone worse rising to power or violence becoming more prominent in the US as a result of protests and other movements caused by the political unrest and WAIT DOES “UNREST” MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS *Googles definition of “unrest”* oh fuck yeah, I was right.

Auxiliary: *Tries to staple two sheets of paper together* *Stapler is broken and can’t staple* *Takes a staple out and pushes it through the sheets with their bare hands*

Tertiary: *Gets a near-perfect score on a math test* That felt nice, I could totally make a career out of doing math if I wanted to!

ISTJ: Writes clearly and directly. Has a surprising amount of imagination and creativity but never takes leave of logic.

ISFJ: Love stories. With cute, happy endings and at least one adorable animal. (Probably considers briefly acting out their psychopathic tendencies on their characters but then decides against it for the sake of their readers.)

ESTJ: Writes the rule book. Plain and simple and easy to understand and indisputable. Or maybe a self biography on how they became a millionaire at twenty-two years of age and a multi billionaire at thirty.

ESFJ: They write a charming cook book. Or a charming guide to home decor. Or a charming book about entertaining guests. 

ISTP: Avoids writing, if at all possible. “Why sit there and write about doing something when I can just go out there and do it in half the time?” They might write a manual on fixing something or other. But probably not. 

ISFP: Keeps a plant journal in which they sketch odd plants they find and describe what they are like, where they can find them, and why they are nice. Has a similar journal for birds. And for clouds. Or something. All worn leather bound.

ESTP: Don’t let this one fool you. They keep a diary. And they write in it every. Single. Day.

ESFP: They don’t write. Not for very long, at least. They might try their hand at a short story, on a whim, but it is abandoned as quickly as it was picked up. 

INFP: ALL THE FANTASY. With lovely prose and a dreamy, imaginative style. Their books are well received. If and when they ever finish them. 

INFJ: Writes best sellers. They perfectly capture matters of the heart and mind and create something absolutely breathtaking. But they are their own worst critic. And it takes its toll.

ENFP: They write dramatic and suspenseful first chapters. And then they forget all about it, never to be continued. 

ENFJ: Self-help books mostly. Or something with the purpose of making a change in society. To make the world a better place. 

INTP: They might also write fantasy. Maybe. But maybe they write tech books with language that only another INTP can understand and everyone else is left scratching their heads at the textbook. 

INTJ: Some of them write how-to books on conquering the world or analyses of influential leaders in history. But then there the INTJs who write poetic-like pieces that are at once to-the-point and elegant in style. 

ENTP: Trolls the readers. Probably psychological thrillers. These are the ones that run from their publishers. 

(Based on actual observations)

ESFP: bright eyes, large smile showing all their teeth. It gives off rays of pure joy, like the kind where you’re singing loudly in the car with your friends

ISFP: another one full of pure joy. Crinkly eyes and a wide smile, but this kind of joy is the kind that comes with a lifetime of hardships and finally fulfillment

ESTP: an overconfident smirk with eyes that are searching you. Except you don’t notice the eyes that are figuring out every flaw and weak point, just the attitude

ISTP: a chiller smirk. This one doesn’t make you as uneasy as ESTP, despite it probably coming from the ISTP leaning against the wall at a basketball game with one leg cocked, watching the audience instead of the game

ESFJ: a bright, happy, caring smile. They’re probably nodding as well. Completely engaged with whatever they’re smiling at. Nothing matters except that thing, and you can tell.

ISFJ: the kind of tired smile a hard-working mother would give. They’ve probably kept themselves busy and you just told them a much needed joke. There’s probably a certain fondness behind their eyes

ESTJ: very formal. You kind of feel like you’re in a business meeting at first. Or maybe there’s a sort of threat behind the smile. After you get them to crack, however, it’s a giant smile while laughing really hard

ISTJ: a small and polite smile. Probably closed lipped. A bit nervous, almost, but mostly like the want to get out of there. Much like the ESTJ, once you get them to open up they’ll laugh really really hard and probably move their bodies back and forth while keeping eye contact through almost closed eyes. They forget to pay attention to what their face is doing and it scrunches up. Really cute

ENFP: (there’s literally so many different smiles that I can’t pick just one that I see most often or truly encompasses it so I’ll just focus on the things that are similar in each.) It’s almost always accompanied by laughter, be it happy or nervous. It’s welcoming and very expressive to however they’re feeling. I think expressive is probably the best word to describe it. Very fun and very happy. It rarely leaves their face

INFP: similar to the ENFP, it is probably accompanied by laughter, however, they are probably be telling you their deepest insecurities, masked with happiness

ENFJ: a caring, motherly, i-told-you-so smile that you probably roll your eyes at despite knowing that they had, in fact, told you so

INFJ: a small, caring, hopeful smile. Eyebrows are raised. They look steady and confident, and are projecting vibes that say nothing but “I believe in you” “it’ll be alright” and “you can do it!”

ENTP: stars are in their eyes. Someone literally placed sunbeams in their eyes. They are looking slightly up, not at anyone but their ideas. It’s kind of private, if anything. They just invented something or learned something new and are so so so happy that the future is great

INTP: a satisfied smirk while looking down. They figured something out. Or maybe they won an argument with someone about a fan theory. Who knows what’s going on in their heads. Either way you’re a little afraid of them.

ENTJ: “you are so wrong and irrelevant that it’s not even worth me telling you that” smile. Looks you directly in the eyes while doing it. It’s scary.

Ti: (ISTP and INTP) I’m convinced that half the time it works like an android, in binary code and everything, and the other half it’s like you gave a really sweet, quiet child a bunch of sugar and they just can’t stop giggling. I’m also convinced that types with high Ti know this, so instead of coming off as insanely logical or toddler-on-a-sugar-high they just shoot for the midground of pure chill. There is no-one more chill than people with high Ti. They are the chillest of the chill.

Te: (ESTJ and ENTJ) Holy crap Te is terrifying. Like, I don’t want to piss off anybody but I ESPECIALLY don’t want to piss off somebody with high Te. I think Te users are basically well-intentioned people that want the best for everyone, but they don’t really get how to be nice. They really just need a lot of hugs. Then a lot of space and a lot of minions to help them conquer the world.

Fi: (INFP and ISFP) I adore Fi users. Who doesn’t adore Fi users? They’re soft and warm and bake you cookies and share their soul with you and brutally murder you in an epic fit of passion and add you to the pile of bodies they’ve been collecting for twenty years. Basically what I’m saying here is don’t underestimate someone high in Fi just because they expect you to.

Fe: (ENFJ and ESFJ) The great (read: awful) thing about people high in Fe is that you don’t realize you’re spilling your guts to them until they are already gone. The great thing is that you have a new best friend. The awful thing is you were pretty much blackmailed. Don’t want Karen from accounting finding out about why you’re so terrified of termites? No? Best friends it is.

Si: (ISTJ and ISFJ) This is the one nobody gives much thought to because people high in Si are just so. Damn. Quiet. It takes an average of seven years to penetrate an ISxJ’s titanium exterior. Why? Because they know things. They’re like the secret service, they operate by knowing everything about you without letting you catch on to their existence. I know they seem harmless and usually they are. Just, don’t try to challenge them. Trust me on this.

Se: (ESTP and ESFP) Pure sex appeal. Nobody can convince me otherwise. There are a few telltale signs someone is high in Se that so far haven’t failed me. Your first clue is going to be the fact that no matter where they are and what they are doing they are incapable of sitting still. Then there’s the very broken filter – oh, you didn’t want to know that they really need to poop? Too late. Basically they are all permanently twelve years old, but for some reason they are also bursting with charm, charisma and way too much sex appeal.

Ni: (INTJ and INFJ) Imagine that your mind is a ball of yarn. Now imagine that that ball of yarn has been a toddler’s plaything for the past month. And imagine that it’s been in the bath three times, left in the woods twice and occasionally randomly catches on fire. That is what it is like to think with introverted intuition. Yes, people high in Ni are sensetive, self-absorbed and melodramatic. They also just found a third end in that ball of yarn they call a brain, so deal with it.

Angel of Anarchy (1940)

This should make your blood boil!!!! These are the kinds of things we should encourage. Ugh.

“Willie Hadnot lost his tiny house when the city confiscated it.

The audacity of their justification is absolutely astounding. “We had to take away the homeless person’s shelter because it wasn’t up to code so it was unsafe.” Then tell them to go to use a government program instead. That’s like police coming to your house and taking your big screen tv because it’s bad for your eyes and telling you to go get a library book instead. You know what this reminds me of actually, it’s like when a child wants to help their parents with something but someone already did the thing for them…so they start screaming and crying until they find a way to make the child feel useful. Even though they just make it worse because they are incompetent and have no idea what they are doing.

Fuck this government, they came and took the one thing these people had, the one thing that gave them any sense of pride and security and then have the nerve to stand there and act like they are helping.