An Assortment of Things

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

imagine youre kris and youre all reserved and cagey and you dont want to tip off your new best friend susie as to how much your parents divorce fucked with you. and then all your adventures take her through divorce themed fantasy lands constructed by your subconscious

We need to conquer space travel for the only reason that zero-g would allow for new never before seen pastries, you know how the top of the muffin is the best part? Well that is because it is exposed to air so it changes the chemistry, in normal earth gravity it is impossible to make a muffin that is all top part because it needs to be placed somewhere which would restrict air flow, however in zero g it would be possible to make a bubble out of muffin dough which gets optimal airflow and becomes an all-top part muffin... This is the dream...

I was sat in bed with a friend watching a documentary today and I suddenly felt my younger deeply lonely self look at me with awe

It turns out you can dream and dream and dream for years that it gets better and then you blink and look around and notice you’re having a good day

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

im getting sick of this.