welcome to my Littel Funy

those other guys are just roleplaying. i'm a real freak. i don't trust tapwater. i'm inbred. smoking me out is like trying to smoke out a warehouse. i get drunk off of 2 beers. i'm scared of Walmart. ever had real freak before? you will immediately feel the difference. the ride is smoother, the controls are more responsive. you've been driving shopping carts until now. are you in the right headspace to hear some shit like "batter up!" before you get fucked? i'm 5 foot 6. i don't have insurance. i'm trying to move to your state before we even enter the talking phase. i'll get a passport to fuck. you think you can have it all with a genuine freak? have it writ upon thy meagre grave. i escaped from a lab where scientists work round the clock creating artificial life- genetically bioengineered to drive your pussy insane. ready for a real freak? once you've seen the stroke you can never go back. my ears ring 24/7. all i do is train. spending a night with me is like spending a night doing the super mario 64 speedrun stair glitch. send me an email.

these are supposed to be my amazing digital thirties

we're saying hi if you want in on this

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing

went to Me island and I was there yesss

i cant stop saying "im gonna smile" lately its really funny to me. cause saying it that way makes it sound like a threat or something. like fuck if you dont watch out im seriously gonna Smile . im seriously gonna fucking Grin myself