Katie

he loves his flower so

why is geno the sluttiest employee at this 1980s bowling alley

no thoughts. just bloody crosby...

(Les Miserables Vol. III Marius 4:1, Victor Hugo)

The Big Three (the core four)

Year is 2026 and we have had 3 goalie fights in 3 months. Flower is dying inside. He looks at his wife. She looks at him and then at their kids and says fine I guess. Flower signs a one day contract with Pittsburgh. He doesn’t give 2 fuck he’s just there for a fight. The refs stop the fight before it begins. He signs one day contract with Minnesota. The fight gets stopped before it begins. He signs one day contracts with Vegas and, you guessed it, the fight gets stopped before it beings. He keeps on signing one day contracts. Fast forward a few years. MAF becomes first person to play for all nhl teams. The goalie fight keeps on escaping him. He somehow wins 3 more Stanley cups. He doesn’t get his fight. NHL expands to 35 teams. He plays for them. He doesn’t get his fight. Fast forward a few more years. Somehow we have made it to 2034 Olympics. Sidney Crosby is retiring. His knee is held together by duck tape and a prayer from an Etsy witch. It’s the last minute of the his final game. Everyone is crying. The whole bench is crying. Sid is on the ice and he is crying. All of the sudden you hear: FUCK THIS SHIT. Flower is barreling down the ice, his gloves have been dropped long ago, his helmet is god knows where, everyone is too stunned to move because hello Sid is going to be officially retired in 30 seconds. Flower slams into Jeremy swayman so hard Sway goes flying. He hits the ice and his helmet comes off. Flower gets one punch in. He breaks Sways nose (he’s been practicing for this fight since he was 18). The buzzer goes off. End of game. The whole arena is in shock, Sway is bleeding everywhere, Sid has stopped crying. Tanger and Geno are in the crowd. Tanger is dying laughing. Geno is cheering like a crazy person. Flower turns to Sid and says “fucking finally. couldn’t let you retire alone”. Skates of the ice. Collects his gold medal. Refuses to do the media or elaborate. Somewhere in Quebec a 5 year old decides they want to be Canada’s next great goalie

If anyone ever looks at me like this I'm marrying them IMMEDIATELY period.

2016 -> 2026

this is nothing new but it’s just genuinely astonishing. really putting the “real” in “real person fiction”

The Big Three (the core four)

Then and now

geno making kindy move so he can sit next to his wife

see the thread of its creation here (it may even get updated)

Fig Faeth, actively kissed a doctor who was at least twice her age while disguising herself as another doctor at that hospital after ratatouilling her way through a medical procedure that saved a man’s life and also inserted her into a Grey’s Anatomy-esque soap opera plot