Katherine Olivia

At the hands of

Someone I love

Is inevitable

Then…

Having you

Be the one

To break me down

I am both

a defenseless lamb

and a toxic manipulator.

Those things can’t coexist

within the same mind, so what am I?

A sheep dressed in wolf’s clothing

Or a wolf amongst sheep?

I think I’m neither.

I’m just me.

I’ve always loved you,

I wrote to you and about you.

I infused my stories

with your essence.

Your ethereal whimsy

leaving traces on my skin,

I know a young boy

who has eyes like nebulas

and voice like candy

— K.O. 🩷

but sometimes

the word “love”

feels too small.

I’ve said the word “love”

to so many different people

that now I strive to find

something more meaningful

I love you,

but I don’t just love you.

I am drawn to your impossible depth —

every thought making connections

to another thought or idea

and somehow another,

like tunneling roots

deep underground.

You choose your words oh so carefully —

holding each one up close to the light

examining their beauty and flaws

before offering them to me,

and in your tenderness

and thoughtfulness

I feel seen.

Not observed.

Not analyzed.

Not picked apart.

Seen.

As though you’ve learned

the language of me —

fluent in the words

I can never manage to say.

You are uniquely clever.

I knew that from the start,

but it is your hunger for more

that makes you a work of art.

Every conversation with you

opens another open in the world.

Every answer becomes a question.

Every question becomes a doorway.

In your mind,

life is always exciting.

I’m never bored

when I’m with you.

And perhaps that’s not

what I cherish the most

because above all else,

you feel like home —

not the house I grew up in

or a thumbtack on the map,

but the feeling of relief —

laying down something heavy,

something I didn’t even realize

I was still carrying with me,

the feeling of roots finding earth,

the feeling of being safe.

And in the safety of you,

love feels too small again,

but I will continue to tell you