Katherine Olivia

Sharing an old diary entry of mine

but tumblr to substack?! Hell no.

Tumblr to FACEBOOK? HELLLL NO

I don’t need any of my grandmas friends seeing some of the shit I have on here cause inevitably I’m gonna get horny on main.

I mean it hasn’t happened yet but I don’t need anyone toooo irl seeing my titties quite yet….

In effort to mix business and pleasure, I’d like to present to my tiny handful of people who appreciate my words my Substack.

but I will never forget

Who’s still my ride or die until the end

People assumed we were more than we said

But we’d laugh along with their guesses

Because we thought that we knew better

Fifteen years of friendship taught me much

Like how to open my heart and how to trust

Someone who never kissed or touched me

Got deeper than those who called me easy

He never wanted me for my physical pieces

Or ever asked for his allowance to increase.

I learned someone could care for my heart

messier than we think

and you don’t realize it until

you’re standing at the sink,

holding a flimsy Dollar Tree

pregnancy test in your hand

knees trembling so violently

Is person shaped

Then you won’t

In the backseat of an uber

And I’ve got my fingers

Inside my math tutor

Learning equational terms

Correcting my posture

Time passing as a blur

With a lucky chauffeur

Watching me, I’m sure,

At the hands of

Someone I love

Is inevitable

Then…

Having you

Be the one

To break me down

I am both

a defenseless lamb

and a toxic manipulator.

Those things can’t coexist

within the same mind, so what am I?

A sheep dressed in wolf’s clothing

Or a wolf amongst sheep?

I think I’m neither.

I’m just me.